When She Loved Me
by Aewithen
Summary: One autumn day, in the early years of the Third Age, on the borders of a land then still ruled by Lord Amroth, marauding orcs and Elf wardens engage in a ferocious confrontation. Many wardens are lost in this attack, as they were neither prepared nor adeq
1. Families

_This story is done in conjunction with Losille2000 who has offered me many amounts of great advice, and is in the style of Indilisse and Haldir, her most beloved and cherished characters to write, and mine to read. Check out a new story by her coming soon, involving Indilisse and Haldir in an entirely new plot! That is always sure to bring new and interesting things, since this story's updating will be very slow, as my main focus is the co-written story Confessions listed under Losille's account._

Chapter 1- Families

The ellyth rose early to tend to the morning meals and to their children already waking for a long day of play with other Elflings and also of learning facilitated by their parents. Some of the Elflings even escaped the grasps of their parents before the morning meal to go investigate new things about the forest with their friends, and would disappear for the day, glad to be away from anything even resembling parchment and bound books. Their mother's would shake their head and laugh at them as they ran down the stairs toward an open field for running and chasing. And then there were the wardens who had returned to the city for a leave who had already been down to the training field to practice their archery, swordsmanship and battle readiness tactics. Soon after the tea had been set to brew on the fires in each talan, the rest of ellon- from smiths to courtiers alike- would arise and dress for a hard day working at each of their respective trades.

To many of these wardens' families, though, it was a time of solitude and reflection at the morning meal instead of happy, joyous talking or friendly fighting between other members of the elite warden patrols. Around the table at the meal, the Elflings would eat in quiet, watching their father at one end converse in low tones with their mother beside him. After they had spoken for awhile of wishes and of their devotion to each other, he would turn to his children and give them each a task they were to complete by the time of his return to the city, even if he did not return. This was a time of great respect for their father's calling as a warden, and no child of a warden ever took the ramifications of these days lightly.

Hardly did the Elves ever see battles on the borders that they could not win, but many times it resulted in the loss of life for a few of their fellow wardens. And there was no telling who this would be, should they come into battle. So it was morose and quiet on the mornings new patrols left the city, no one really prepared to see their loved ones go, especially after the last war against Sauron still fresh in each Elf's mind. There would be time for rejoicing when the patrol returned safe and sound, but in the current air of uncertainty in the world, there was no telling what could happen with the wardens out on the borders.

It was the friendship and bonds that each wife and child shared with other families of the wardens in the same patrol that kept them from being too worrisome about their husbands and fathers. These close-knit friendships with each other that were spawned from the ellon relying on each other for camaraderie and each other's like protection should they be engaged in battle day in and day out, led to a familial atmosphere, even though they may not be related in any way. And it was the "family's" vow to join together, in the event of something going terribly wrong, that kept many an Elf of fading from grief.

Once the wardens had gone on their way, life would again go back to normal with chores and learning and playing to be had, with only a slight remembrance that their fathers, husbands, and even sons were off protecting their great land.

It started out like any other day, a normal day, for the families of Lórien. Except for this house...

"You are starting early this morning, Laereth."

The young elleth jumped slightly, not having heard her father approach from behind. She turned to him, feeling a blush creep to her cheeks, embarrassed that she had been so easily startled, but also because her father had caught her writing when she should be preparing for the morning meal before he left for the borders. "I am sorry, Ada."

He laughed and sat down beside her at the wooden table, with a clay cup full of tea that he had made himself, "You are awake early, pen neth."

"So are you, Adar," she smiled, testing the ink upon the parchment she had written on for it's dryness before closing the leather bound journal.

"You know I do not rest on these nights," her father sighed. He looked over her for a long while before meeting her eyes and holding her gaze, "You have grown too quickly for my taste."

Laereth giggled, "Too quickly? I thought I had not grown quickly enough for you with all the trouble I have put you and Naneth through."

"You know that is not true. And that incident in Lord Amroth's secret pool was not that horrible, though you think it so," he smiled. "I think you gave Lord Amroth a laugh when he needed it most."

"I still think of it every time I see of Lord Amroth, Adar. It was so embarrassing," she closed her eyes for a moment, remembering that day. "Haldir does not seem to care that I am embarrassed about it either."

He took a long sip of his tea and then let out a low laugh, "I find it hard to think that Haldir would care about being embarrassed, whether it was he who should be embarrassed, or even his closest friend. He is very much like his father. And Orthordir thinks such emotions are frivolous and should not be fretted over."

She laughed, "It's acceptable, though. Afterwards I complained about it to him. And when he would not listen, I yelled."

"Elbereth forbid that any Elf should have to hear you complain and yell all in the same sitting," he joked.

"Ada..." she warned, scoffing and then pouting.

"It is a flaw your mother gave you," he continued along in a joking manner, but that earned him a sufficient smack to the back of his head as her mother entered the room and crossed over to the fire to pour herself some tea.

After pouring the liquid, she walked over to the table to sit opposite Laereth and smiled. "So I see you and your father have been conspiring already this morning."

"There has been absolutely no conspiring this morning, Branneth," her father spoke as sweetly and lovingly he could.

"Talking in such a manner will not save you now, Ruscon," her mother warned in a flat tone, but her lips curled into a smile after a few moments. "Shall I wake Cuileth so that you may deal with her this morning as your punishment."

He chuckled and stood from his seat, "You need not punish me, meleth. I will tend to her on my own."

When her father disappeared to rouse the resting babe, her mother turned to her and sighed, "This should be very interesting."

"Nana..." Laereth said, but heard a loud squeal come from the far room and then a blood-curdling cry. "Aye, I guess you are correct."

Soon, her father appeared, attempting to reposition Cuileth's small body in the blanket he had brought with them, but the Elf-babe was having nothing of it, kicking her arms and legs about defiantly. Her mother, obviously feeling a great amount of pity for him, stood up and removed the child from his arms. "You know waking her is the worst part."

Laereth's father rolled his eyes and sat back down at the table. "Our other children were not as ill-behaved as Cuileth is."

"That is because she is the youngest," Branneth laughed. "Tuilinn has the same troubles with Rúmil. I am sure Orthordir has spoken to you about it."

"He has," her father sighed and watched as Cuileth was maneuvered about and took to their mother's breast. Again, her father turned to her and motioned to the leather-bound book in front of her. "What were you writing?"

"Just some things I have been thinking of recently," Laereth replied and took the book with her when she stood up. She went to place the book in her chamber and came back out to start gathering the meal since her mother was indisposed to helping her now that Cuileth was quiet and feeding. However, her father did join her to help her prepare the meal of breads, cheeses and fruits. She, personally, did not like these mornings before her father left for the fences. It worried her immensely that he could be lost and she would be without her father, the one she looked to always make her laugh... their relationship easily one of the best in all the history of Arda. And she could only imagine what would happen to her mother should something happen.

They sat to eat their meal now in peace and sharing the company of each other before they would all make their way down to the city floor and see the patrol off.

* * *

"Ada! You forgot my task!" Orophin exclaimed, jumping off of his chair and following after their father towards the door to the talan.

Haldir watched as their father stooped down and grabbed the long, sheathed sword that had been resting against the wall with the bow and quiver. He straightened himself and secured the belt about his waist and then looked at Orophin. Orophin's eyes lit up in expectation as their father smiled broadly, "Your task, should you choose to accept it, Orophin, is to learn how to fletch an arrow while I am away."

Haldir tried not to laugh upon hearing his brother's task, but it was useless. Pretty much everyone in Lórien knew that it was nearly a lost cause to teach Orophin to fletch an arrow at this age, as he nearly always ended up with more feathers and paste on him than on the shaft of the arrow itself. But it was still Orophin's favorite task to try to complete, because he could have paste and glue all over himself without having to give an excuse as to why he did. Hearing his laugh, his father turned to him and gave him a quick wink before turning back to securing his weapons about his body.

Orophin ran to their mother, "Nana, did you hear what my task is?"

And then their mother nodded her head, saying in her most pleasant voice, "Aye, I did. Now go wash your face and hands and put on a new tunic." After he had disappeared into his chambers, she muttered, "And it is only because your father does not have to clean the mess after you are through."

That made Haldir laugh again, as well as his father who was finishing securing the quiver upon his back. Today had been an abnormal morning for them on an occasion like this day. Instead of the usual reflection and low speaking, it had been a morning full of bright chatter and jesting. Maybe the world was slowly becoming a safer place that they did not need to worry so much about the forces of evil as much. Maybe that was why this morning was different.

Rúmil gurgled for attention at the side of the room in his small rocking crib, and received that when his mother walked over to him and stood over him, cooing at him. Haldir turned back to his work of clearing the used utensils from the table, not really interested in what new noise, new smell, or new bodily excretion his youngest brother was doing at the moment. Soon his father joined in with the watching of the babe, and then turned back toward the door.

"We should be heading down now," he announced, opening the door.

Orophin came scurrying from his chambers, Haldir stopped his chores and Rúmil was hoisted onto their mother's shoulder as they all made their customary pilgrimage to the base of the city to see their father's patrol off. Really, Haldir only liked to go down because he was able to see all of the mighty Elven warriors, their weapons gleaming bright and their garments pristine before their excursions. He had liked doing this since he was Orophin's age, and had, since then, decided that this was exactly what he wanted to do for the rest of his long life. He wanted to be one of those well-trained warriors who could move about so swiftly, agilely and adeptly when it came to fighting an opponent. One of the warriors who was higher ranking than the rest. It was in him to command at least some other person. He had known for sometime, that even though his father was a warden, and he would likely become one because of that reason, that this was his calling, pure and simple.

He had a long way to go to reach that point, especially since he was just perfecting his archery at this point and just nearing his coming of age at one hundred. It would be a long while before they held another warden training, but he would most definitely be the first in line to sign up for the opportunity. So that he could be like those other Elves. So that he could be like his father, the Elf whom above all else Haldir looked up to in all matters of life and the world. Haldir figured that because his father was a part of such an elite patrol of Elven warriors, that he had to at least have some wisdom in other areas of life.

However, he had not been able to shed much light upon the matter of ellyth. For that, he would one day have to go to his mother. Or to Laereth.

Haldir laughed to himself, thinking that it would be quite comical to ask Laereth such a question. After all, she acted more like an ellon than anything else. And speaking of Melkor's minion herself, Laereth was already down with her parents and saying her final farewells. She hugged her father closely and kissed his cheek, while he said something that made her laugh. Everything that was spoken between father and daughter made Laereth laugh, and granted she laughed quite a bit being an extremely jovial elleth, but it seemed that lately his own antics were not hitting the same chords with her.

"And your task, Haldir," said his father, pausing for only a moment as he came to stand beside Haldir. "Your task is to finally admit to Laereth that you are in love with her."

"Adar, please. You know as well as I that what is between us, is not love," Haldir quickly scoff at the idea that he could be in love with Laereth. That was completely unacceptable considering that he could not even see her as an elleth some of the time.

His father smiled knowingly and nodded his head in acceptance of what Haldir had said. He said, "Think on it, Haldir. She comes from an honored family besides the fact that she is beautiful and intelligent enough to keep you on your toes."

Haldir frowned, gazing back in the direction Laereth was, now holding her young sister in her arms as Branneth talked with Ruscon. "I am still young yet. I need not worry about it."

"Fine," his father replied. "I did not wish for this to turn into an argument. But in the meanwhile you are to tend to your mother and brothers as you always do, while you think on the things I have given you."

"Aye, Ada," Haldir said, but did not internalize, as his eyes and attention were now focused on the elleth his father told him he was in love with. What a preposterous idea it was. Maybe once had he thought about something more than a friendship with her in the recent years, but he just, under good conscience, could not think those things about the elleth he had often bathed with as a young child.

His father left his side with a shake of his head and walked over to the wardens now coalescing in the center of the gathered families. The March Warden came to them then, an old Elf by the name of Tirithion, and gave his orders to the new patrol. They were the same as every other time they went out on duty. To serve and protect the people of this great realm. And then he promptly disappeared after passing off a note to Ruscon, Laereth's father, to make sure he gave to one of the higher ranking wardens upon their arrival to the fences.

Sometimes Haldir wondered if the March Warden ever left his workplace high above the city and in one of the chambers of Lord Amroth's palace. Did he ever go to the borders to actually speak with his ranking officers? Did he even fight any other battle besides those of words in Amroth's court? Rarely did the Elf make an appearance about the city even, unless he was going to his own private talan or was at a grand celebration where he was always given a seat at the high table. And then he would act as though he were mighty above any other Elf, taking riches and things that were not necessarily rightfully his.

Haldir had never heard his father say so much, but it was evident that he was not pleased with the way March Warden ran his company and the fact that Amroth did nothing to rectify it. One time Haldir had heard his father and Ruscon commiserating with each other over the fact that he knew nothing about what was happening on the borders, besides that biased opinion from his ranking wardens. And they had also said that the ranking wardens were not always telling the March Warden the truth behind the happenings on the border, because he did not wish to hear bad news. Or was it that the March Warden did get the correct news, but still did what he pleased, because he was out of touch with reality by not being on the borders with his men?

Whatever it was, Haldir knew that something had to be done to cure the woes that had already occurred with the March Warden. Maybe he would be the one to do it...

The patrol walked past the gates of the city then, and Haldir looked about at the now sighing families. There was something odd about this scheduled patrol. He could not place his finger on it, but all of the families were acting differently than normal, as though they knew something bad was to come, but were trying to hide it as best as they could manage. His mother ascended the stairs with Rúmil in her arms, and Orophin at her heels, already begging her to set him up with paste, feathers and arrow shafts. She shook her head and told him that he could do it later.

Branneth disappeared with Cuileth, leaving Laereth speaking with one of her other friends, the very lovely and very female Galwen. Soon the other families disappeared and Galwen was pulled aside by her latest, and he was sure her father hoped, and last suitor. He had been watching Galwen so closely that he had not noticed that Laereth had come up beside him.

"If you stare any harder at her, she will turn to stone," Laereth replied, remarking on his attention he had been sending to Galwen.

"She will not," Haldir defended, now looking at Laereth. "I have done it many times before and she has not yet turned to stone."

Laereth sighed and walked past him, "Perhaps it is her heart that had turned to stone you cannot see it, so you do not know."

"I doubt her heart has turned to stone," Haldir remarked and followed after her, reaching out to grab her arm to stop her. "Will you join me for archery practice?"

"I was going to look for fresh berries." Laereth said, "You may join me while I do that, because Naneth says it is not an elleth's place to have aspirations of becoming a warden."

He laughed, "And it is not an ellon's place to search for berries, so I suppose this is farewell for now?"

She nodded her head, and let out a low, miserable sigh. "So long..."

"Do not act as though this is the end of the world." Haldir assured with another laugh trailing his words, "You will find a moment to sneak in archery."

Laereth sighed again, "Someday, when my mother has left Arda."

Haldir shook his head and rolled his eyes, "I shall see you later, Laereth. Find me tomorrow and we will go for a walk."

"Very well," she replied with a slightly brighter disposition and left him standing there, watching her move quickly away from him.

How could his father say he was in love? It was just outrageous!

* * *

Adar- father

Pen neth- young one

Meleth- love

Naneth- Mother

_A/N: About the spacing of giving birth to Elves. Elves usually wait a large number of years before they have another child if they already have one. But I think that after coming home from the War of the Ring (part 1), and losing so many lives in the battles, that they would be inspired to reproduce a little more quickly. You know, kind of like an Elven baby-boom, but at much smaller numbers. Anyway, that is describing my reasoning behind my liberal LACE and canon translation of Elven birth. And that is why Orophin and Rúmil are so close in age. Also, any allusions you want to make with the situation of the wardens and their corrupt and bad military leader, you can, but it was not intended to be made in such a way of you are applying it to the current world problems._


	2. A Task Completed

Chapter 2- A Task Complete

The next few days were fast moving, and neither Laereth nor Haldir found time to meet up for the walk they had planned upon. It was nothing new that they did not see each other over a few days, even though their talans were close and should, under any law of averages, see each other at least once a day. But it seemed recently that she and Haldir were spending less and less time together, and to Laereth it seemed as though Haldir wanted to spend little time with her. He would either be busy practicing and honing his fighting skills or with his other ellon or elleth friends. However, she did have to admit that she was not being very conducive to a good friendship either, with all of the tasks her mother insisted she learn now that she was nearing one hundred and full adulthood. But that did nothing to make her feel better about being cast aside by her closest friend for things that were not necessarily so important that they needed to be taken care of right away.

But she was not content to just sit by and watch him move away from her. She was just not that type of elleth. And so she found herself walking around the city of Caras Galadhon, trying to find Haldir in one of his normal haunts. She had asked Tuilinn where she thought he might be when her mother and Tuilinn met up to spend the afternoon together, but she had no idea where he might be either. However, in the mean time, Tuilinn had asked to her find Orophin who had left the talan early in the morning and had not reappeared yet.

Just as she imagined, Orophin was out watching Haldir practice his swordsmanship, while trying his best to fletch arrows. She walked up to Orophin and knelt down in front of him, "What are you doing Orophin?"

"Hello, Laereth," he glanced up at her. "I am trying to fletch arrows. That was what Ada told me to do as my task."

"How did you procure these materials? Did Haldir get them for you?" she asked.

Orophin nodded his head vigorously, "He is helping me."

Laereth raised her eyebrows and glanced in the direction where Haldir was swinging a sword about wildly in a heated battle, completely unconcerned with what was going on outside of the small bubble of concentration he was in. It was just like him to be concerned with only himself, and no one else. Or at least could not be bothered with anyone else or anything else beside himself or his hobbies.

"He does not look like he is helping you," Laereth said.

Orophin stuck his tongue out slightly, in deep concentration for his own work, trying to get the feather attached to the shaft of the arrow. He succeeded in attaching it to the arrow, as well as he attached his fingers to it. His resolve to finally learn this task correctly did not waver as he tore his fingers away, shook his hand from the slightly stinging flesh of his fingers and went back to finding another good feather and placing glue directly onto the shaft. She chuckled at the pained, intense look on his face as he tried this next arrow and only accomplished with dropping it onto his leggings. This Elfling was one of the best Elflings in all Arda, always eager to please and always trying to be like his older brother. Unfortunately, Orophin's older brother did not seem to realize what a huge responsibility he held within the palms of his hands as his brothers' role model.

And the reason why Orophin had yet to master this rather simple skill was because his older brother never paid that much attention to him when their father was away.

Laereth smiled, and sat next to Orophin, "May I help you."

"Do _you_ know how to fletch arrows?" Orophin said with a tone of awe, and looked up at her expectantly.

"Aye, I do. My older brother taught me how to do it because my naneth forbade my father from teaching me," she said.

"You have an older brother too?" he asked. "Where is he?"

"He is in Greenwood," Laereth replied, taking a fresh arrow shaft. "He is much older than I am. My parents had him before the last War, and he stayed in Greenwood because he was a captain in their guard."

Orophin seemed excited about this, "Really?"

"Aye," Laereth laughed. "Will you hand me that pot of paste?"

The Elfling did so, and she took out the brush, tapping it against the rim of the ceramic pot to get the excess off the horse hairs. "Now, what I do is take the brush and put a thin layer of paste on the end of the arrow shaft. As it dries, the paste gets stickier, so the feathers stay on better then having to hold them in place like you do." She demonstrated what she meant, and he watching in reverent appreciation for the skill.

"Oh, I see," Orophin replied, eagerly taking a shaft of his own and repeated what she had done.

"And after you have the feathers attached and the paste is dry, you can add little bits of paste here and there to make sure the feathers stay on," she said. They worked in silence for a few moments as Laereth finished hers and Orophin worked slowly on putting the second feather on the end of the arrow shaft.

Eventually Orophin succeeded in fletching his first arrow. He jumped up excitedly and looked around him. He spotted Haldir brushing away the sweat from his brow as he leaned against his sword and talked to his dueling partner. Laereth watched as he ran to Haldir and interrupted the conversation, thrusting the arrow into Haldir's face and talking happily. She saw the flash of annoyance in Haldir's eyes as he gazed down at his brother, but he masked it quickly by smiling and patting Orophin's head. Orophin continued talking and Haldir asked him something, and Orophin pointed in her direction.

Haldir glanced at her quickly and turned back to his conversation with his friend Arphenon. Orophin ran back to her and looked around for what he should do next. Laereth looked up at him, "Your naneth is in my talan if you want to show her."

Orophin nodded and started running in the direction of the nearest flight of stairs, but he paused halfway and turned back to her. She did not know what he was going to do until he came running back to her and threw his arms about her neck. That had been the last thing she expected, but she was overjoyed that she had done something to warrant a hug from him. He hugged her tightly and pulled back, "Thank you Laereth. Ada will be happy when he comes back to find I know how to fletch arrows."

"Aye he will," she said. "Now, go see your mother."

The Elfling nodded and once again he was off. She shook her head with a laugh escaping her, as she glanced down at herself. One of the feathers that had been attached to his tunic was now on her and she pulled it off, placing it with the other feathers as she began to clean up the mess he had left. Soon, a shadow fell across her and she looked up to find Haldir standing over her.

"It is about time he learned," he said.

"You were no help," Laereth replied as she gathered the things into her hands and stood up.

"What do you imply?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and began walking in the direction of Haldir's talan. "Maybe I would spend more time with my young brother than you do."

"You do not think I spend enough time with him?" he questioned as he followed after her.

"Nay, you do not," she replied. "You spend little time on things that do not concern Haldir."

He scoffed, "I do not. I spend a great amount of time with him."

"I do not mean just Orophin, Haldir," she said. "To everyone it appears you think little of others."

"I am busy perfecting my skills so that I may become a warden," he replied. "I cannot help it."

Laereth remained silent as she entered his talan and put the fletching materials on the table.

"What is this supposed to be? Some lashing from you for not meeting you to go for the walk?" he questioned. "If I remember correctly, it was you who was supposed to come find me."

"But I did find you two days ago, but you were with Arphenon. Yesterday you were busy with Caladiel," she glanced at him and grew silent again, watching him.

Haldir laughed, "Oh, I see the problem now... you are jealous."

"Hardly," she said.

"You are!" Haldir pointed at her, his eyes widened as though he were surprised she would have some type of normal emotional response to the neglect of their friendship.

She scoffed and shook her head, as she walked toward the door. "I am not jealous Haldir. You can spend time perfecting your skills all you wish. You can spend time with Caladiel and bind with her for all I care, but I hope we could still be friends. The way you go about giving me the cold shoulder, on the other hand, is what my problem is."

Haldir sighed and followed after her, "Laereth, I am sorry if it seems that way. I do not mean it."

Laereth turned and met his eyes, deciding it better to just let this argument die, "I know that, I am just overreacting."

"You always overreact," he chuckled, and was about to say something else when there a loud shout coming from Orophin who barreled into the room at top speed. They were quiet as they watched him slow down and place the arrow on the table.

"Where are you going?" Orophin asked.

"Well, I am going for a walk now that I brought your supplies back," Laereth replied with a slight smile, glancing at Haldir quickly.

Haldir smiled, "So will I."

She chuckled and looked back at Orophin, "You are welcome to come with us if you like, Orophin."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Aye, but on one condition," she said. "You go change your tunic. I do not wish to walk around with a bird instead of a handsome ellon like yourself."

Orophin did not reply as he ran back into his chambers, and Laereth turned to Haldir and smiled, "Perhaps you should change as well?"

Haldir raised his brows in question, "You are kidding..."

Laereth laughed, "Be a good example for your brother."

Haldir shook his head and started toward his room muttering, "You are just like my mother."

She smiled to herself and sat in a chair while she waited for the brothers to come back and join her. Soon they were off walking along the paths of the city and ventured a little ways out to a deep river to sit and talk. Orophin went off climbing and jumping from tree to tree, while she Haldir sat on the bank of the river. She hitched her skirts up around her legs and put them in the warm water, resting back on her hands.

Glancing at Haldir, she noticed that he was preoccupied with something, and while it was obvious he was staring at her legs, she could not believe that he was staring at them in the way it seemed. There would never be any chance that Haldir would look at her in that way, and she was not quite sure she wanted him to look at her in that way.

Haldir closed his eyes tightly, and shook his head as though trying to void the thoughts going through his head. He opened his eyes and looked away, "Is the water warm?"

"Surprising, yes, considering that autumn is now in the air," she replied. Haldir smiled and took off his boots, rolled up his leggings and stuck his own feet into the water. They sat for a long while, enjoying the sunlight and not caring about the world around them.

-----------

Out on the fences...

"I do not know how the March Warden does it, but he always does," Ruscon said sarcastically as he placed his bow against a tree trunk and settled himself on the flet beside Orthordir.

"What?" Orthordir asked, glancing up at his friend, "How he manages to cut back the presence of wardens on the borders every single time we come out here? I know, I find it quite remarkable as well. Soon the inside of the city will be a tightly guarded fortress, but the rest of our realm will not. And if our enemies reach that far inward, there is no way of protecting the city."

Another of the wardens preparing to head out to the post Ruscon had just vacated chuckled, "It is not as though we can do anything about it either. Amroth does not seem to care."

"He is new yet. He will learn quickly that something needs to be done," Orthordir replied. "At least I hope."

A long silence passed between the friends, but Ruscon finally let out a heavy sigh, "It has only been a week and I miss Branneth already. It has never been like this before."

"I agree," Orthordir said. "It seems like an age ago I left Tuilinn."

"You realize what is happening, do you not, Orthordir?" Ruscon asked with a faint smile.

Orthordir laughed, "We are turning into lushes for our wives."

Ruscon nodded his head and gazed out at the horizon, "Aye, my friend... that would be it. But it is more my family than anything. I spent such a great deal of time with Bainon in Greenwood, helping him perfect his skills. With Laereth, I was there to see her grow into the beauty she has become. And now with Cuileth, I feel as though I have spent no time with her."

The other Elf nodded his head in agreement, "I know what it is you speak of. It is the same for Haldir and me. I spent so much time with him as a young Elfling, but now I am lucky to have a day devoted to Orophin or to even find time to carry Rúmil about on my shoulders. Just one of these days I would like to sit down and actually teach Orophin how to fletch an arrow, since it seems his older brother will not."

"I would be afraid to try to teach Orophin how to fletch," Ruscon replied with a laugh. "I do not fault Haldir in not wanting to teach Orophin."

Orthordir chuckled and sipped a bit of water from his drinking gourd. "I would agree, but you know as well as I that Haldir has problem with thinking only of himself and not of others. He probably does not even think past his next practice session to others' needs."

Ruscon sighed, "And you cannot fault him on that either, Orthordir. It is good to see an Elf the drive he has in him to become a warden."

"True, though I would prefer to see him a captain of the guard elsewhere than here," the Elf replied. "And in the mean while, I would see him act a slight bit more aware of the world around him, than just his immediate space. He needs that skill to be successful as a leader, as well as a soldier by any means. He needs to be prepared to risk his life for others."

"He will learn it eventually," Ruscon said. "There will be something down his path that will make him realize that he is not the only person in the world. Perhaps an elleth to change his mind?"

Orthordir laughed, "He laughed at my face when I told him it was his task to tell Laereth he loved her."

Ruscon chuckled and shook his head in a dismayed fashion, "Was that wise? If Haldir does realize this in the next month, and tells her, how will he feel if Laereth completely brushes him off? You could have at least warned me that this was going to be his task."

"I thought it was obvious to Laereth that she was in love with him," Orthordir said.

"Obvious to everyone else except those who should find it obvious," Ruscon replied. "Laereth believes that Haldir is too conceited to even realize what a friendship they have."

Orthordir nodded his head, "And that could very well be the case, but we can always hold out hope that they will one day see past their differences and bind."

"Laereth would be so angry if she knew we were trying to push them together," Ruscon laughed.

"So would Hal-," began Orthordir, but the sound of an Elvish horn ricocheted off of the trees, calling them to attention. Both Elves jumped to their feet quickly, looking about, spotting the very large column of orcs headed in the direction of the forest. Ruscon grabbed his bow and pulled an arrow from his quiver as he moved along the branches of the trees to get to better vantage point. In the pit of his belly, he could just barely sense a feeling of foreboding as the creatures bore down on the tree line.

Not only were the wardens unprepared for a battle, but the posts were not adequately manned to face the huge number of orcs.

------------

Back in Caras Galadhon...

Laereth was just beginning to pull her legs from the water so that they could head back towards the city when they heard the sounds of beating hooves. She glanced at Haldir, who had the same look of worry on his face. Both knew what this meant. They had been around long enough to see the wounded Elves carried in from the borders during the last war, and each time it grew no easier to see. But it was undecided which was worse, the anxiety one felt as they waited to see who the wounded, or slain, were, only to find that it was not their fathers, or if the worst part was to find the gaping wounds.

Haldir looked about, "Orophin, come! We must go back to the city now!"

The Elfling fell from a tree and joined them on a run back to the city where the Elves were now congregating to see whom the horses had brought in. Most of the time, the healers would have the wounded and slain out of sight quickly, but this day it seemed a deluge had been brought in, and the wounded lay out by the door to the healing houses.

As usual, a hush settled over the Elves, each whispering to each other about certain things, but not loud enough for others to pick up what was being said.

Haldir started to push his way through the crowd, and she had not noticed it before, but his hand was grasping hers as the crowd parted. She knew it before they even came upon the first slain Elf, by the way the other city folk were looking at them with forlorn gazes, exuding sentiments of pity. Haldir's grasp on her hand tightened considerably as he came upon the slain Elves. He turned his head away from the sight, his jaw clenching tightly as though he were trying to fend off tears as she was then able to gaze upon them with her own eyes.

There, side by side, lay their fathers. In life they stood beside each other as best friends, fought beside each other in battle, and so in death did they remain together.

All at once she felt a feeling of great fatigue, queasiness, hate, anger and sadness. She did not think it was possible to be so full of emotion, but she was and she was unable to hold back a pained, "No!"

In an effort to make the image go away... in a hope that this was all a dream, she turned quickly from the scene only to find herself in Haldir's arms. Letting out a loud sob, finally, Haldir only held her more tightly and she could feel that in addition to her trembling, so was he, however much he tried to mask it.

But her pain was short lived when she heard the frantic call of an Elfling, "Ada! Ada!"

She looked to the side, finding Orophin standing beside his father, trying to get him to wake up by a shake of his shoulder. The reality soon hit Orophin and he fell to his knees, crying loudly, his small head resting against where his father's heart should have been beating. Laereth wanted to reach out and take hold of the Elfling- to hold him tightly- but Haldir held her securely in place. For a short moment she thought it was selfish of him, but she glanced up at him, and saw the tars brimming in his eyes, and she knew that she was the only thing holding him upright.

That sight was just too much for her to bear, and the tears began to fall much more freely, before she realized their mothers had yet to see this... that was, of course, until she saw her mother and Tuilinn making their way through the group. Two of the other Elf-maids there took up the care of the babes while they pushed forward.

The image that would stay forever emblazoned in her mind, would be that of seeing her strong, independent, energetic mother fall at her father's feet out of pure grief and hearing her call out a faint, "Ruscon, hervenn nín, melethen."

---------

Naneth- mother

Adar- Father

Ruscon, hervenn nin, melethen- Ruscon, my husband, I love you.


	3. A Rose By Any Other Name

_A/N: Thank you reviewers! Hope to hear from more of you soon!_

Chapter 3- A Rose By Any Other Name...

A few months later...

"Are you sure you must go Naneth?" Laereth questioned for what seemed like a millionth time. Really, she did not want to be left alone so soon, much left to be the only caregiver to her still babbling babe of a sister. At first she had thought it selfish that her mother would leave her to travel to the Havens to sail West with Haldir's mother. Who would think it not selfish anyway? To leave a babe behind... before the babe was even able to control her own bladder, much less speak one word. To leave behind other family when they had already lost so much with the loss of their fathers.

But then Laereth had looked at Haldir's mother, and saw only death about her from the loss of her husband. Laereth's own mother was not well off, and the usual radiant glow about her was no longer there.

Laereth only hoped that sailing to Aman would help them seek what they needed. And she also hoped and prayed for any help from the Valar she could get on how to raise a child, but she knew there would be others in the city that would be there for questions.

"Laereth," Branneth sighed heavily, closing up her bag and walking over to her. She took Laereth in her arms and hugged her closely, "For the last time, I will be going West. It is the only way I feel as though I could survive... and you know the promises of Mandos to re-embody the slain so that they may once again reside in Aman. I wish to be there when that happens."

"I know Nana," she said, "but I know not what I will do without you."

Branneth smiled slightly, "You told me you could handle this, Laereth. If you cannot, you must write to your brother and his wife. They will come to help."

Laereth looked away from her and nodded her head, feeling tears prick at the back of her eyes, "Aye, Naneth."

"Laereth, iell nín, you must not think I am doing this because I do not love you," Branneth said, turning Laereth's eyes up to meet hers. "I do this because I love you... I would be of little addition to your life here in Lórien, sulking about until I at last faded into complete emptiness."

"I know you are correct, Nana, I just will miss your advice. That is all," she replied.

Branneth sighed, and placed a kiss upon her forehead, "And I will miss speaking with my eldest daughter, and watching my babe grow."

"Cuileth will miss you as well, Nana. She will never know what it is like to have such a wonderful elleth as her mother," Laereth sighed and gazed across the room toward the crib her sister was now sleeping in.

"But she will know what it is like to have a wonderful sister," Branneth replied and stepped away to gather her things. "I promised Tuilinn that you would also try your best to keep an eye on Haldir and his brothers. She is worried Haldir will not be able to care for them."

Laereth could not help but chuckle, though she felt supremely sorry for Haldir and being left with two young ones to look after. Many of the townsfolk had commented quietly, gossiped and even made some off color jests about how Tuilinn was being so horrible to leave her children alone, and alone with their elder brother who could barely get over the fact that the ellon he looked up to most had passed into another place, and that he would now be in charge of two, very important lives. As a matter of fact, it seemed that having the two Elflings placed in his care had done little to phase him, especially now that the spent every single waking moment alone in the trees thinking or beating the targets in the archery range to nothingness.

"I will help if he allows me to help," Laereth said, but she knew his pride. She knew his over confidence in all manners. And she was sure that this experience would be no different.

With another heavy sigh, Branneth walked to the door. Laereth quickly gathered up Cuileth in her arms and followed after her mother. They reached the city floor quickly to find the small contingent of wardens that had volunteered for this duty to escort the two wives of two of their beloved friends to the Havens. Tuilinn was already there with Haldir, Orophin and Rúmil, placing her last kisses on Rúmil and Orophin's foreheads before giving Haldir a few parting words. All in all, the scene was even more solemn than that of when the wardens left for the borders, but she had expected that. Little was spoken as the ellyth mounted their horses and were escorted to the gates. Orophin began to take off after his mother, but he stopped just as he reached the tall gates of the city and turned back to them.

Laereth held Cuileth tightly, gazing off after the traveling party until she could no longer see them. With a small sigh, she gazed down at Cuileth and smiled at her peaceful sister. She raised the babe slightly so that she could place a kiss to the babe's brow, "Well, I am afraid it is just us now, Cuileth. One day you will meet your brother, and in the long future, mother again, but now we must see to getting you back to your crib."

The babe gurgled happily, even though she was asleep. Laereth chuckled and glanced up as the sound of a sobbing Rúmil reached her ears, only to find Haldir gazing at her in a pained manner, it appearing as though he was severely disjointed at the moment. It was obvious to her that he had absolutely no idea as to what he should be doing, much less why the child was crying in the first place. She felt pity for him, and walked over to him, "I will trade you a babe for a babe."

Haldir did not reply for a moment, and just gave her a hard stony gaze. "You already think I cannot do this?!"

"Haldir, I never said such a thing, I just thought perhaps you might need help," she said.

"Well, I do not need your charity, or the charity of others," he remarked and straightened his body, raising his chin. She had seen this move many times before, especially when there were things he was not very good at (which where few, though), but normally it had happened when he was only a small Elfling about Orophin's age. "I am perfectly capable of doing this myself."

Laereth nodded her head and sighed, "Very well then, mellon. You know where to find me if you do need help."

She walked away then, up to her talan to settle Cuileth down once more for her nap.

* * *

It had been an entire day since she had last heard from Haldir, and she figured that things must have being going somewhat smoothly that she had not heard of a fire igniting the tree his talan was in, or that an eruption of the largest proportions had not taken place because of his extremely short temper. Or perhaps it had, and she had somehow not been aware of it. But the sun was beginning to set on the second day of their mothers departure, and she decided that it would be best not worry about it. Though taking care of Orophin and Rúmil would be very difficult for Haldir in the beginning, she had every confidence in the world that Haldir could find a way to manage everything.

He always did; that was just Haldir's way.

He never failed at anything.

Laereth sighed to herself and went back to reading the book she had recently borrowed from Amroth's library. Only through two sentences, she was interrupted by the sound of a hard, urgent knock on her door. She closed the book up and took it with her as she walked towards the door. Unsure of who was on the opposite side of the door, she opened the wood slowly, and found a very bedraggled Elf. Not only did he look angry, but sad and worn as well, adding to the untidiness of his wrinkled clothes. It was as though he had slept in the clothes between fits of yelling and impatience. And it was not something she had expected of her friend.

"Haldir..." she began.

"The last thing I want to do is prove all of the Elves of this city that they were right and I cannot take care of my brothers," he said with a heavy sigh, as he tried to peer around her into the quiet talan.

Laereth nodded her head and smiled slightly, "Asking for help does not prove that you cannot take care of them Haldir. It only says that you care for them so much, you think someone else could be better at it than you until you learn. You wish the best for them."

Haldir glanced at the ground and let out a defeated breath, "I need help Laereth."

"Aye, you do, mellon," she replied with a chuckle to herself, "but that is a discussion for another time. Let me gather Cuileth. Will you please put out the fire?"

He did not reply, but followed her into the talan anyway and began putting out the fire as Laereth took to wrapping Cuileth up in blankets. Soon they were headed over to Haldir's talan, Haldir being extremely quiet as they walked until finally he glanced at her, "I should brief you on what has happened."

Laereth laughed, "Well, it cannot have been too bad... I heard no yelling."

"Oh, it was bad, and there was plenty of yelling," he said with a heavy sigh. "First of all Rúmil will not stop wailing. I have tried everything, but he will not stop crying. I feel as though it is because Naneth is gone and he can sense it or something... but every time I go to pick him up, he gets horribly worse. Orophin has been very quiet... too quiet, except this morning when I snuck away to have a few moments to myself. He would not leave me be, and I yelled at him, saying some things that were not necessarily nice and he locked himself in his chambers. He has refused to come out or eat anything or even speak to me."

She glanced up at him, "You have certainly dug yourself into a hole my friend."

"It is my own grave," he replied bitterly.

Laereth shot him a stern look, "Quick talking like that, Haldir. The last thing your brothers need is someone who is downhearted all of the time."

"But how could I possibly be happy when my father has passed, my mother has left me and my brothers, and now I must worry about them rather than training for the warden program?" he asked.

She stopped in her tracks and gazed at him, "Let us get one thing straight right now, Haldir. Quit thinking you are the only one with troubles. You are not the only one here with these very same problems. I too share your sorrow and unhappiness. I have lost a father and mother. You must think of Orophin and Rúmil... they have lost exactly what you have. So what if you cannot train as much as you like before the warden program? Your brothers need you now. And if anything, your brothers will help you to reach your ultimate goal. They will teach those skill you severely lack."

"I lack in nothing," he said.

"Aye, in your martial forces you lack in nothing. You are an able-bodied fighter and intelligent," she said. "So you need no training in that area, so you should not be worried about missing out on that. However, you need a different type of training."

"And what would that be?" he questioned, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down his nose at her.

She hated when he did that, it made her feel so insignificant and bristled her even more. "You think of no one but yourself. You have no patience. You have the shortest and most vicious temper in the world. Your skills for communicating with others effectively is atrocious. You must also have those qualities to be what you want to be. To be a good March Warden, you must possess them and have had some practice with them. Either that or you will not be able to command the respect you wish for. Caring for your brothers will teach you that."

Haldir was silent then, his face softening and his arms going back down to his sides, "Perhaps you are correct."

"I am," she sighed heavily and started walking again.

He followed after her, "But I know not how to learn it."

Laereth glanced at him and smiled, "I shall teach you."

With that remark, they grew silent again and found themselves in front of Haldir's talan. She opened the door and entered the front room. It still looked as though it were in neat working order. Pushing the door further back and entering, she glanced at Haldir. "Have you eaten anything recently?"

"Nay," he replied.

The sound of a latch being removed and hinges creaking open flooded the room, and there was light footfalls on the floor. Orophin came barreling around the corner and ran to her, placing his arms about her hips where he could reach and held on tightly. Laereth chuckled, and glanced back at Haldir, "Please take Cuileth and put her in one of Rúmil's free cribs."

"Aye," Haldir said, gently taking the babe into his arms and walking off with her.

Now with her arms free, Laereth knelt down to Orophin's level and hugged him closely to her, "What seems to be the problem, dearest Orophin?"

"Haldir yelled at me. He scared me... I want my Adar and Naneth back," he said, a slight sniffle finding his throat and working it's way out of his mouth.

"Well, I am sorry he did that. And he is very sorry about it as well," Laereth said and brushed back a piece of his wispy, loose hair. "And I know how you feel about your father and mother, Orophin, but we all must make adjustments."

"But why did Nana have to leave us with him?" he questioned.

Laereth had noticed Haldir walk in just then, and could feel his disappointment by what Orophin had just said. She glanced in Haldir's direction, just to confirm that what she felt was correct, and she could have sworn what she saw there in his eyes were tears. He quickly turned his gaze away, and turned toward the door of the talan. She had hoped that he would think better of it than to leave, but she supposed that perhaps he needed to be alone for a little while to reflect on the past few days and regroup his strategies.

"Orophin, never say that about your brother," she scolded. "He loves you, but does not know how to show it. And he wants to do his best caring for you, but he does not know how."

"Naneth said you would help before she left," Orophin replied. "Where have you been the last few days?"

Laereth smiled, and sighed, "I told your brother I would help if he ever needed it. And he decided that now was the time he needed help. I figure that I shall be spending more time here to teach Haldir how to care for you and Rúmil."

"Really?" he questioned.

"Aye," she said, standing up. "Now, let's fix us some food, and tend to Rúmil. Then you and Rúmil will bathe, and afterwards we shall see about what is going to happen."

* * *

He sat upon a high flet and overlooked the flickering lights among the darkened city. It had been a rough few months for him, but only in the last few days had it come to a head and boiled over. He was at his ropes end in trying to deal with all of this change personally, and then having to face it while still trying to remain a decent caregiver for his brothers was horrible. Laereth had been right about him, though. He was all of those things she mentioned, and he had absolutely no idea how to go about changing them, but he was glad that she had been kind enough to sympathize where pity was needed.

But how, in all the wide world, would he ever be able to live up to what his parents would have been, had they survived, and stayed to care for his brothers?

The answer still eluded him, and he feared it would elude him for a long time.

However, there was one thing that had become clear to him these past few days... he would never, ever bind with another and have children as long as he was a warden. He would never, ever wish to be the cause of what he and his family had been through the past few months. Even if he was impatient and self-centered, he certainly was not cruel, and in some ways he thought what had happened, because his father was a warden, was cruel to his mother and brothers. He would rather live all the ages of the world alone than place his wife and children in the situation he was now in. It was as simple as that, as long as casual dalliances were not too frowned upon by others.

Haldir sighed to himself and stood from his spot. It was growing very late, and he figured that he should probably head back to the talan to see what had happened since his cowardly exit. The walk back went much more quickly than he expected, and he let himself into the talan quietly. No sound could be heard in the talan except for the crackling of quickly dimming fire, and he grew worried that Laereth could have possible killed his brothers and been done with it, but he knew that Laereth was nowhere near as hotheaded and irrational as he. Closing the door behind him, he walked further into the room to stoke the fire, finding Laereth there on the lounge. She lay with her head on a pillow and her eyes closed, in a seemingly peaceful slumber.

He smiled, feeling a slightly warm feeling come over him. It was a strange one, he would admit that, but he figured it was probably just being so close to the fire that had done it to him on such a chilly night. He quickly placed two wooden logs over the flames, and moved the burnt ones about, causing the flame to jump up and engulf the new ones. Setting the wrought iron poker on the ground, he turned again toward Laereth.

The moving flames danced about her face in shadows and vibrant oranges, causing him to notice the finer points of her facial features. Never had he actually taken time to look at her like this, he just took the very normal rose for what it was worth and continued on with his life. He never realized that even the most run of the mill roses could be as beautiful as those which the Valier Vána the Ever-young and Irmo produced in their gardens of Valinor. Always had he taken his friendship with Laereth for granted, and never really realized what a beauty- in all ways besides aesthetically- he could call his friend.

Haldir again felt that feeling, but this time it worked its way up to hismind and niggled at it for a few moments before going away. He sighed and walked over to her, taking the blanket that rested on the back of lounge, placing it over her body and removing the book that was resting over her chest. For a moment he sat on the low table beside the lounge to gaze upon her. He wanted to wake her and speak with her about some things, but he felt horrible to have to interrupt such a blissful slumber of the person who had saved him today from committing other egregious acts toward his brothers.

She shifted slightly beneath the blanket, causing strands of her soft hair to fall over her face. Ever so carefully, he reached over and began to brush the hair away so as not disturb her, but has his fingers brushed her nose and before he could pull his hand away, her hands shot up to brush away his hand.

Her eyes opened slowly and she sat up quickly, "I cannot believe I fell asleep."

"It is fine that you fell asleep, it seems that everything is in working order," he replied and sat back, looking at her.

Laereth removed the blanket from her body and stood up from the lounge, walking over to the kitchen, "Are you hungry?"

"Aye, I am, but I can fix something after you are gone," he said.

"So quick to get rid of me?" she questioned, "After I have been gracious enough to save you today?"

He did not reply as he walked over to join her, stopping behind her and placing his hands on her arms to make her stop her movements. She glanced back at him and he sighed, "Laereth, you know I did not mean it like that."

She nodded her head, "I know that, I am only giving you a hard time."

"I am very sorry for the way I have been acting, Laereth. First snipping at you yesterday," he said. "All you have been the last few months was friendly where and when I needed a friend the most. And truthfully, I am astonished you would even help me today, without any pretense to it while I have been the worst friend in the world since the deaths of our fathers. And I am also sorry that I am so self-absorbed that I have neglected to realize that you two are living through the same things I am."

"You apologies are accepted," she said. Laereth raised a curious brow and smiled slightly, "I must be very good at talking sense into people."

"You are," he said with a laugh. "But even though I know I must work on things, I have no idea how to begin."

"Are you willing to truly learn?" she asked.

"Aye," he said.

"I have a plan," she glanced at him and walked away to sit down at the table.

Haldir watched her do this, "And what is this plan?"

"Well, it has always been an unspoken promise between the families of wardens that if something should go wrong, that the families would stay together and help each other," she replied and met his eyes. "I propose that we hold to that form. I will help you with your brothers, because you will need it if you are participate in the warden training that will happen soon."

"I would never ask you to take over all the responsibilities when I become a warden," he said. "I thought I would wait until Rúmil reached fifty years to try out to become a warden."

Laereth laughed, "I never said I would take all the responsibility, but I will _help_ with it. And there is certainly no reason why you should put your dreams on hold to take care of your brothers, albeit a wonderful task because you truly have wonderful brothers."

"Why are you being so kind to me, Laereth? I certainly do not deserve your friendship after all these years and the way I have acted with you," he said.

"No... you may not," she paused pensively, "but I like to think that it is just because you areyoung and not as matured or intelligent as I to realize this."

"Amusing, really, Laereth," he scowled and turned around to gather the food sitting there to carry it over to the table.

Laereth laughed and rested her head on her hand, "But you will repay me for all my help."

"And how will I do that?" he questioned.

"If I ever need help with anything around my talan, you must promise to help me," she said.

"Deal," he replied.

"Not so fast," she laughed and sighed. "I also wish to have you teach me how to use a sword and help me perfect my usage of a bow."

Haldir chuckled and met her eyes, holding out his arm for her to take, "All conditions are agreeable."

Then we have an accord," she grabbed his forearm and laughed again. "Muindor."

* * *

iell nin- my daughter

mellon- friend

munidor- brother

Vana and Irmo- Husband and wife Valar. Where she walked, flowers were said to spring up and birds sang. Irmo was more commonly known as Lórien, for the gardens in which he lived in Valinor with his wife. Yes, there is a Lórien in Valinor. That is how Lothlórien was named in Arda.


	4. A Passionate Elf To His Sortof Love

_Poems are courtesy of Christopher Marlowe (Passionate Shepherd), and Sir Walter Raleigh (Nymph's Reply)_

_Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! Please remember to read and then review, I love all kinds of feedback, as long as they are not flames!_

Chapter 4- A Passionate Elf To His Sort-of Love

Ten years later

She lifted her sword up, blocking Haldir's blow, that allowed her enough time so that she could roll to the side from her position lying on the ground. As quickly as she could, and just as Haldir was bringing his sword down again in his naturally effortless fashion, she jumped to her feet and blocked him again. However, she noticed that he had somehow worked her into a small grove of plants and trees, and was now standing with her back to the wall of thick tree trunks. Trying to move to the side to step out into the open, he stopped her as though he knew her movements before she even did. It was hard to tell now if that was just his deadly accurate intuition, or the fact that they had become so close over the past few years that he could read slightly into her intentions before she actually accomplished them.

Ducking down beneath the arm he had shot out to stop her, she moved carefully, but not fast enough as he held out the blunt edge of his sword at her lower legs so that she would trip over it. That sent her to her back, and her sword flying into the air. She reached for the dagger that Haldir had recently been schooling her on, but again he stopped her by catching her sword carefully and holding the blade it by the holster she kept the dagger in, and his own sword trained on her neck. Knowing that she was defeated, she lay back and caught her breath as Haldir loomed over her. With a wicked smile, he tossed her sword to the side and sheathed his own.

"You are getting to be much more difficult to best, Laereth," he said, looking down at her.

"Then you are doing what you promised," she said.

Haldir chuckled and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, and offered the other one to help her to her feet. She smiled to herself, and took his hand, somehow managing to summon enough strength to flip him over onto his back. With the momentum of movement, she found herself kneeling on the ground beside him, so she placed a knee on his chest. He grimaced, "You ignore the principles of a fair fight."

"I never agreed to fight fairly," she replied, looking down at him.

"In that case," he said, heaving her onto her back and following along with his weight to hold her down. The wind was knocked out of her, and her head snapped against the hard ground, causing a shooting pain to travel up her skull. He placed his rather powerful thighs to either side of her legs and his hands on her shoulders to hold her still.

"We act no better than Cuileth and Rúmil," Laereth said, now looking up at his determined features.

"Sometimes I think they are better behaved than we are," Haldir said.

A long silence passed between them, neither needing or wanting to move from this position. She was fine to have him act as he was now, having to be better than her. This was his arena, and she was happy to let him have that. He deserved that much, especially after all of the changes that she had imposed upon him. He had changed considerably since the agreement of their continued support of each other. He still retained his highly arrogant and prideful ways, while becoming much more agreeable and all the more lethal with his often times sharp wit. But he had somehow developed a trait of being very set in his ways. She supposed that had to do with being a father figure, but there was no way of knowing for sure. Nevertheless, though, to put it all simply, he had become every elleth's dream ellon in Lórien, the brightest star in the March Warden's service, and the most loyal friend in all the wide world, besides his newfound love of being a brother.

And as much as she tried to hide to it, it was hard to really deny that her feelings were not solely that of a friend's any longer.

She did not know if he recognized that, though. It was obvious that there were times they both felt it, because they would often look at each other with worried expressions before turning away quickly and blushing. Aye, Haldir even blushed some of these times. Actually, most of these times he blushed, especially if the moment that would pass between them had involved a slight touch of skin to skin, or their hands to areas they should not normally be. Except, it was nothing more than they had done all their years as friends while running about and being carefree Elf-children. So, in a way, it boggled her mind that it could be so different now, when it was all the same as before.

And then again, she was not one to call it love, or at least the beginnings of love, either. She did not think it love. It was more than friendship, and less than a devotion of love. Perhaps is was just an infatuation they had with each other. It was not so difficult to imagine that the amount of time they spent together had something to do with their hyperawareness of each other. She found it very easy to be attracted to his handsome qualities, why could he not be similarly attracted to her more reputable endowments.

The fact that they had put aside their slight differences as friends for the sake of their respective siblings had also added to them seeing each other in different ways. But he was rather careless and wanton with his ways recently, and she saw how he acted around other ellyth. If it was not for that one thing, conceivably she could see more happening between them, but it was almost as though Haldir tried to mask his own feelings from her by going around and wooing other ellyth.

This predicament of her beneath him, surprisingly, was not one of those times it grew odd between them. It was when they would lock their gazes, and somehow find themselves entranced for a good amount of time before blushing and turning away….

Just like he was looking at her now. Her breath caught in her throat, seeing a flicker of something in his grey eyes. She swallowed hard, and realized that he was slowly lowering his head to hers, and by some magnetic force, was raising her own to meet his lips. All time stood still, and her mind went blank, unable to process what exactly was happening.

With some luck however, they were interrupted by the sounds of Elflings calling their names. Haldir jolted back from her, looking at her as though she had a second head, and jumped to his feet quickly. To the side of the field, she noticed Rúmil and Cuileth running toward them. She scrambled to her feet and went to pick up her sword. Sheathing it, she looked back as Haldir was just bending over to pick Cuileth up, only to dangle her over the ground but holding onto her legs. Laereth laughed at him and Cuileth's squeal. Cuileth always counted on Haldir to give her that one thrill whenever he was around. And Rúmil took a great delight in seeing his best friend being dangled like that as well.

"What were you two doing?" asked the ever-curious Rúmil.

Haldir began to answer, but he stumbled over his words, and looked to her to finish his thought. Nearly as bothered as he was, she almost could not think of an answer, but one came to her. She was sure it was gift form the Valar. Laereth joined them, "Haldir was only sparring with me, and he won, as usual."

"My big brother _always_ wins!" Rúmil exclaimed.

Laereth laughed, and glanced at Haldir, who seemed very proud of himself that he had earned Rúmil's comment. She said, "Aye, he does seem to do that most of the time. But one of these days, we will find something that he is not so good at."

"You will never find anything!" Rúmil said even more enthusiastically.

And Cuileth piped in, now resting easily, perched in Haldir's arms, "That is what you think! My sister could beat your brother any day she wanted."

Laereth laughed, but saw the argument developing quickly, so she diffused it as best she could. "There are many things that Haldir is better at than I, you two. Fighting is one of those things. However, there are things in which I think I could do a sufficient job of beating him… like mending clothes… or writing a poem."

The Elflings seemed content with that answer, and Haldir placed Cuileth on the ground, "How about you two start up for my talan, and we will have the evening meal together this eve?"

Shouting a word of acceptance for his idea in unison, the two Elflings ran off to a set of stairs to lead them up into the trees. Laereth watched them go, until she felt an intense gaze directed at her. She turned toward Haldir, finding him looking her over carefully, and he smiled gently. Her mind then lurched to a stop in response to his lovely smile, and she said the only thing she could think of, "Thank you for volunteering for me preparing the meal this eve."

Haldir rolled his eyes, "Nay, I thought I would prepare the meal tonight. You do so much for me, and I never thank you enough for it."

"This should be interesting," she replied good naturedly, but could not help but note the sudden softness in his voice, and the hurt look on his face.

"I am better in the kitchen than you may think," he said.

"I know that," Laereth laughed. "I am only giving you a hard time."

Haldir was silent for a moment, and then let out a long sigh, "I suppose you will want to bathe before the meal?"

She smiled, "While you and your brothers may be heathens eating at the table covered in dirt and grime, I am not."

He chuckled then, "Fine… I shall see you soon then."

Laereth began the long ascent of her talan, each step she took becoming more and more painful as the day's exertions were slowly, but surely, catching up to her. It was the last blow she had taken that was the worst and the shooting pains up her side where not the best feelings in the world. But she decided to not think of them, hoping the warm bath she would prepare for herself would help the ache.

* * *

He worked quickly to prepare the stew before she arrived and to have time to go bathe himself. Though, he had no idea what he was doing. It was not that he did not know how to make the stew, but it was the fact he did not know why he was acting in such a way toward Laereth. Not only was he confused about his actions earlier in the day… when he had nearly kissed her… but now this sudden urge to please her for a change was all the more baffling to him. Sure, he knew that he owed Laereth so much for all that she had done all these years, and especially recently since their parents had gone, and he frequently let her know that. But this was different. He was doing this for different reasons that just a love of his very best friend… but it was not done in love for a possible mate either.

It was in an odd grey area he found himself… the same one he had found himself for these past ten years. He had noticed Laereth in her full glory, for the beauty she was both in form and in mind, but he did not think he felt the love necessary for any relationship to form. As it was, all of these feelings were complicating his vow to never bind with another, without complicating other things, like the dynamics of their 'family'. Sure, they could always have an in between relationship if he wished, where they delighted in the solidarity of their friendship while experimenting in ways of the flesh, and it would not be so looked down upon by the other Elves if he remained faithful to her while they both wished that sort of pairing.

But he had always tried to stay away from that idea… she deserved so much more than that, and he did not want to be the one to turn her away from the perfect life she so deserved.

Oh how this vexed him! He wished, nay, he yearned, to feel Laereth close to him in his carnal desires, and yet he was too loyal and noble an Elf to hurt her in such a way. Sometimes he wished things could just be slightly more clear to him, so that he would know what path take, and he would not have to spend long nights awake and restless trying to figure this out himself. Perhaps tonight would be the night he broached the subject with her… because he saw no way around not explaining himself earlier about pinning her to ground and nearly kissing her.

Haldir pulled himself from his bath quickly, dried and dressed himself. He walked out into the main chamber area where Rúmil and Cuileth were busy playing with their playthings, and Orophin worked diligently at trying to figure out a difficult wooden puzzle. Haldir laughed at Orophin's expression. Even though he was now ten years older, he still worked so intensely that it required his tongue to stick out part of the way. Checking the meal, and deciding that it was fine for the time being, he walked back over to the lounge and sat down, soon having an Elfling in his lap, and one beside him, looking up at him expectantly.

"Where is my sister?" asked Cuileth.

"She went to bathe, but she will be here soon," Haldir replied with a smile, brushing some of her wispy pale hair from her face.

"Will you tell us a story?" asked Rúmil.

He pursed his lips together and chuckled, "I do not know any good stories, you know that. Laereth is the story writer of both of us, and can tell them much better than I."

"I know," Rúmil said. "I just hoped you had one."

Haldir felt as though Rúmil was truly let down, so he grumbled to himself before sighing heavily, "How about a poem?"

"Please?" Cuileth's eyes widened with anticipation. The door to the talan creaked open then, and Laereth entered. He glanced to the side, finding her there, and looking particularly lovely in the lavender gown he found most wonderful on her body because the neckline dipped just low enough, and was just filmy enough that he could nearly know what the things beneath looked like. And her soft, long hair lay loose about her face… he knew then that this night would be different than all the others they had shared the evening meal together.

"Sit down, Laereth!" Rúmil commanded. "Haldir is just about to tell us a poem."

Laereth raised a curious brow as she walked over to the chaise and picked Rúmil up so she could sit, and placed him on her lap. "You say your brother is about to recite a poem? I do believe this world will soon be coming to an end."

"I am not a complete savage, I know some poetry," Haldir replied with a smile.

"And what is this poem called?" she asked.

"The Passionate Shepherd to His Love," Haldir said.

Laereth chuckled, "A poem of Men? Please, by all means, go ahead."

Haldir sighed and looked between Cuileth and Rúmil before beginning:

_Come live with me and be my love,_

_And we will all the pleasures prove_

_That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,_

_Woods or sleepy mountain yields._

_And we will sit upon the rocks,_

_Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,_

_By shallow rivers to whose falls_

_Melodious birds sing madrigals._

_And I will make thee beds of roses_

_And a thousand fragrant posies,_

_A cap of flowers, and a kirtle_

_Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;_

_A gown made of the finest wool_

_Which from our pretty lambs we pull;_

_Fair lined slippers for the cold,_

_With buckles of the purest gold;_

_A belt of straw and ivy buds,_

_With coral clasps and amber studs:_

_And if these pleasures may thee move,_

_Come live with me and be my love._

_The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing_

_For thy delight each May morning:_

_If these delights thy mind may move,_

_Then live with me and be my love._

After he was finished, the Elflings were mesmerized that Haldir had actually recalled the poem from the deep recesses of his mind. He smiled triumphantly and glanced at Laereth who only chuckled. She sighed, "Perhaps you would like to hear the Nymph's Reply?"

"There is a response from a nymph?" Rúmil asked.

She laughed and nodded her head, beginning with a deep breath:

_If all the world and love were young,  
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,  
These pretty pleasures might me move  
To live with thee and be thy love. _

Time drives the flocks from field to fold  
When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,  
And Philomel becometh dumb;  
The rest complains of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields  
To wayward winter reckoning yields;  
A honey tongue, a heart of gall,  
Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.

The gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,  
Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies  
Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten,—  
In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,  
Thy coral clasps and amber studs,  
All these in me no means can move  
To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed,  
Had joys no date nor age no need,  
Then these delights my mind might move  
To live with thee and be thy love.

"Why does the nymph not want to be with the shepherd?" asked Cuileth.

Laereth smiled, "Because the things he promises her are short term things, like the bed of roses and posies, even for that of the race of Men. The clasps of coral for her dress would soon snap, and the wool is very rough to her skin. She does not think it a wise thing for her to give her heart. And at the end she remarks that he only fancies her for her beauty and youth."

"Oh," Cuileth said and nodded her head, thinking about it for a little bit. "I am glad I am not a nymph, and that I am edhel so that I need not worry about youth or beauty."

Haldir laughed at her, and Laereth chuckled, looking at her sister. "It is a cautionary tale to all who read it. If an ellon ever promises you things like that, I would hope you would take a moment to think it through before running off with him. But that is a long while from now, so we need not worry."

Laereth glanced up at him, and he nodded his head, saying, "Aye, now it is time to eat."

As he was lifting Cuileth off his lap and placing her feet to the ground, he noticed that Laereth grimaced slightly as she lifted Rúmil off of her own lap. He knew he had gone too rough on her today, but she had seemed to take the beating well despite that fact, but now he felt ashamed that he had hurt her so. Later he would ask her if he could practice his newly-learned healing techniques on her injuries. It was the least he could try to do for her. He just hoped she would allow him to do that.

* * *

edhel- elf 


	5. Closing One Wound, But Opening A Larger ...

_A/N: The bulk of this story is meant to take place when Laereth and Haldir are both much older, but all of this set up is needed to gain insight into later actions. This is why between this chapter and the next, there is a huge year difference._

_Also, about reviews… I would like to thank Heartless for pointing out to me that I had the part in my settings ticked to only accept reviews from members of this site. I did not know that it was ticked, so if you have not been able to review because of this setting, please review now as you need not be a member or sign in every time you leave a review. I think everyone should have the ability to participate, so I hope those of you who are not members and following this story will review this time! Thank you!_

Chapter 5- Closing One Wound, But Opening A Larger One

Laereth sat in front of the large fire, running her fingers through the sleeping Cuileth's fine hair as she watched the flames dance about. The sounds of Haldir in the other room, placing Rúmil into his bed was the only other noise in the room besides Cuileth's soft breathing and the crackle of the firewood. It has been a lovely night for all of them, she had assumed anyway. After the meal, Haldir had insisted on cleaning up the mess, to which she thought rather odd. It was usually a rule that whoever made the meal, did not have to tidy up afterwards. However, she did not complain, and went to the sitting area of the room and was pulled into a rather exciting game of marbles that had Rúmil running around collecting the smooth, round stones. And shortly thereafter, they had all talked her into telling them of faerie tales she had written or read.

Haldir stayed away, working with Orophin, to show him how to properly thread a bowstring because Orophin had broken his earlier in the day. Both Cuileth and Rúmil soon fell asleep as she told the stories, and Orophin had gone to his chamber to write in the journal she had given him as a begetting day gift only a few years ago, so that he could write out all of his problems, rather than bottling it up, only to unleash it on an unsuspecting Haldir.

Orophin came out of his chamber then, and replaced the loose ink into the wooden desk to the far side of the room with his quill. Laereth watched him for a moment and sighed, "Are you off to rest now?"

"Aye. Haldir is taking me out to practice in the morn." the slightly more matured Orophin replied quietly. A walked to her and leaned over to place a kiss upon her cheek, "Good night."

"Sleep soundly and dream well," she smiled as he walked away. Haldir returned then and walked into the room, bidding his own goodnights to Orophin.

She watched as Haldir walked over and sat down on the table in front of her. He smiled slightly, "I have made up a cot in Rúmil's room for Cuileth."

"We should be going back, Haldir," Laereth replied.

Haldir's grey eyes met hers, and held her gaze for a long moment. "Why should you be going back? You have slept here many times before."

"I know, but I would wish to sleep in my own comfortable bed this eve, not this lounge," she said. "You were relentless with your attacks during our practice today."

He frowned slightly, and he diverted his gaze toward the ground for a moment, "I am sorry. I did not mean to cause you pain, but perhaps while I practice my healing skills, it would be best to put Cuileth in with Rúmil to rest."

Laereth blushed deeply, thinking of the locations of her injuries that would require a removal of nearly all of her clothing. "While having you heal them would be wonderful, I do not think it would be wise for us."

"I can be respectful, even though you think I cannot," he replied dryly, meeting her eyes.

"It is not you I worry about, Haldir," she said. "It is I, being in the company of an Elf like yourself with nothing covering me. I would be very bashful."

Haldir chuckled, "But I have seen you like that many times before, mellon."

"Aye, you have, but that was before…" she paused, looking into his eyes and finding a certain flicker there that she had not noticed before.

"Before what?" he asked.

"Before we matured," she found herself barely able to reply to his question, but miraculously, she had been allowed to. His eyes were so intense now that she had no comprehension of the world around her, except for the world in the grey eyes in front of her.

Haldir was silent then, but never took his eyes from hers. After a moment, he sighed, "Please, let me help you, Laereth. Elves are usually never this bashful about their bodies."

"But… Haldir…" she began, although paused. "You know that it would be different between us… things are different between us, and not once like they were before our parents left. The last thing I would want to do is jeopardize the family we have made or our friendship for the sake of something that could happen. It would hurt me very much if we were to end up at each other's throats after disagreeing on a trivial issue of our relationship not having to do with the wellbeing of our siblings, and never speak to each other again. I rely on you for support as you do me."

"I suppose that is all true," he said. "And I have thought of those things many times, but then I must wonder what will happen if we continue to deny that attraction which is there. Would that not be the same as acting upon it?"

Laereth shrugged her shoulders, "I know not, Haldir. I have never had to deal with this problem in my life."

Haldir nodded his head and gazed down at Cuileth. "Let me take her and lay her on the cot. I will tend to your injuries, and for now we will not think of anything else coalescing between us."

She grumbled to herself and hung her head, "I am in quite a deal of pain."

He smiled, jumping up from his seat and carefully picking up Cuileth. Haldir disappeared back into Rúmil's room, and she glanced toward the door. She could escape now, and not have to deal with this tonight, but then again, she desperately needed to be healed of her problems, much less was curious to see what could happen between them. Soon he returned, looked at her, "We may do this out here if you think it would get out of hand in the bed chamber."

"Out here, please?" she asked.

Haldir nodded his head and went to side cupboard to extract a few glass vials of what looked to be massage oil, but she said nothing. As though remembering something, he went back into his chamber and came out with a robe, "You probably wish to put this on."

Without replying, she took the robe and went into the room to quickly change out of her gown and place the robe around her. She really did not know how this was going to help, considering that her worst bruises were around her ribcage, but she still held it tightly to her as she stepped from the room. He looked up from his concentration while working with the oils, and met her eyes. And she blushed from his glance.

Haldir nodded toward the chaise, "So tell me where you are hurt the most."

"My upper ribcage," she said, meeting his eyes as he blushed, thinking about the area that would entail. "My, my, is the perfect, unemotional Haldir embarrassed? May I be the one to also point out that you are the one to suggest this healing?"

"Aye I was, and aye I am embarrassed, but it should soon pass," he said. "I suppose the robe was a wasted idea then."

"It was," she giggled, trying to forget what she was about to do. "This is your last chance to back out and save us both a little bit of embarrassment, Haldir."

"I think I can handle it, Laereth," he replied, reaching out to place his hand on her shoulder, pushing her back against the cushioned lounge. Carefully, he untied the sash from about her waist, and slipped his hands beneath the soft fabric to push it away from her chest. As he did so, it was apparent to her that he was trying to remain as decorous as he could manage, trying to reveal as little of her skin as he possibly could, but it was useless.

"You will not see them if you keep it like this," Laereth sat up slightly and removed her arms from the robe, revealing herself to him. He paled when he saw her now, and swallowed harshly. For a moment he closed his eyes to collect himself, and then opened them, looking at her again. With a deep breath, he again positioned her on the chaise and took a vial of oil from his collection.

"I should not go so hard on you," he replied, pouring some of the scented oil into the palm of his hand. "Why do you not tell me to stop if I am hurting you?"

Laereth watched him as he focused on the bruises on her torso, "I can take what you give Haldir. Trust me, if there was a time I could not deal with the roughness in which you teach me, I would tell you. I am no frail elleth… my brother made sure to toughen me up before I came here with my parents."

Haldir chuckled, "Speaking of which, when is he supposed to arrive?"

"Any day now," she replied, delighting in the feel of his hands on her abdomen now, massaging the oil and whispering lowly in a tongue she did not understand. Soon there was a feeling of warmth in her body, that was focused on the areas his hands were laying.

He removed his hands from her, and sighed, "That should be enough to take away the pain."

Laereth did not say anything and watched him as he placed the cork in the vial of lavender scented oil. "Bainon will ask me to go back to Eryn Galen with him, Haldir."

Haldir clenched his jaw. He had thought of this possibility many times since he heard of the visit from her much older brother, but she had never once vocalized that this was a very real thing, and that she was seriously thinking about leaving with him. Truthfully, he had hoped it would never come up for discussion. She had vowed to stay with him, and he with her until the children were grown enough that he did not have to worry too much about being away at the borders. And he had also hoped that would be for a lot longer than the ten years she had been more than a help to him.

"Will you say something?" she asked.

"And what if he does?" Haldir asked, standing up and walking away from her. Laereth sat up and replaced the robe on her shoulders. "What do you intend to say to him?"

"I know not," Laereth replied.

Haldir could not reply to that. What was she saying? That she was seriously thinking about going to Eryn Galen and leaving him here alone, without anyone else in the world who cared about him like she did? It was just like his father passing into the Halls, and his mother fading, only to decide to leave him to deal with raising two young Elflings. He would never say as much to her, but he thought it. She was no better than his mother when she deserted him here in Lórien.

"It is your choice," he said.

"It is not only my choice. If you truly think you cannot make it without me, tell me now." Laereth was silent for a moment, and stood from her seat to walk over to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders from behind as he turned away from her coming to him. "Haldir, even though I may go, it does not mean I will be gone forever. I do intend to come back, and I have no intention of ever forgetting you and your brothers."

Haldir turned to her, catching her soft, small hands in his. "I am selfish, Laereth. I do not want to be without you."

"For now, Haldir," she said. "Until you find another elleth that could suit your fancies and you decide to bind… it's like the Passionate Shepherd, Haldir. You would give me everything to keep me here until the fun wore off… We both know there is nothing more between us besides an abiding, deeply rooted, friendly love. We may feel the urge for other things, but in the end, both you and I know it would go nowhere. You will find another elleth whom you love more than anything, and then you will not need me to help with your brothers. If anything, I hinder you finding that elleth because others think there is more between us than there really is. And the ellon around here dare not do anything with me because they fear you."

"That is not it…" he said. Haldir turned his eyes from her. He was responsible for that. It was not once, but many times he had warned many an ellon to stay away from Laereth, both from his selfish need to have her help, but also in worry that she could be hurt by any of them. He would not stand for that… hurting Laereth. And the ellon about the city had taken his wishes to heart, an had done nothing to court her recently.

"Then what is it?" she questioned. "If you are any kind of friend, or love me in any way, you will understand that it is better for me to take this opportunity now than regret that I did not take it later because of your wishes."

Haldir met her eye, "You are right, Laereth, like you are always right. But a promise between friends is binding whether you sign something or not, and you promised to help me if I helped you. Orophin and Rúmil would be devastated if you were to leave… you are like their mother. Think how selfish _you _are being."

"Only Orophin and Rúmil would be devastated?" she questioned, not moving her eyes from his.

"Aye," he said, but did not know why he said it, or the logic behind it. He would be more than devastated… but he could never, ever let her know this. She would think him weak if he admitted it, besides the fact that his pride would never allow him to admit it.

Laereth nodded her head and stepped back, "Then there is your answer, Haldir. If you will not miss me, then I see no reason not to go with my brother if he should ask."

He watched her move to his chambers, come out with her gown, and then walked into Rúmil's room to extract Cuileth. She left the talan then, and he hung his head and felt tears sting his eyes. He tried to hold them back, but they would not stay at bay. Now not only had he lost his father and mother, but he had also lost his best friend because of his foolish pride and selfishness.

And he had absolutely no idea how he was going to survive, or how he was going to tell Orophin and Rúmil, though he imagined that they were already awake and knew of the rather loud argument that had just occurred in the talan. Haldir grumbled and closed his eyes for a moment… and this would assuredly be the first of many horrible fights to come if she chose to leave Lórien when her brother came.

* * *

mellon- friend 


	6. Letters and Arrivals

Chapter 6- Letters and Arrivals

Year 2500 of the Third Age

Rúmil opened the door to Haldir's new talan to find Orophin looking through old parchments. It had been a long evening of partying the beforehand for all of the wardens in Lothlórien, celebrating the appointment of the new March Warden, and Rúmil was morethan surprised that Orophin was up and awake already this morn, especially knowing the amount of alcohol consumed by them both could have been seen as extremely gluttonous by most anyone. Rúmil and Orophin were given a huge honor to celebrate… Haldir being named March Warden… and if there was one thing the Lórien brothers did well, it was celebrate. So it was a good thing for them that the celebrations would continue into this evening when Haldir would officially be named March Warden, receive his ceremonial weapons, and the rest of the city would feast on his behalf.

"You are awake earlier than I expected," Rúmil said, walking into the room and sitting at the table across from Orophin.

"I did not drink as much as you last eve, Rúmil," Orophin replied. He licked his index finger, and placed it to the parchment, quickly flipping through some of the pages.

When Rúmil received no other comments from Orophin, he interrupted his elder brother's perusal of the parchment, "What are you looking for?"

"Nothing," Orophin said quietly.

Rúmil recognized the box that Orophin was searching. It was the large, ornate wooden one, carved with leaves that held all of Haldir's letters, and it was the one thing he tried to keep secret from his brothers, because within this box was the entire two thousand three hundred years of letters that Laereth had sent to him from Mirkwood. They both knew it was painful for Haldir to realize the mistakes he had made so long ago, but they had never realized just how ashamed he was of himself that he had pushed Laereth away without telling her just how he felt, until helping him move into the new, larger, and much more luxurious March Warden's talan. And the only way they could tell he was shameful (or at least scared of the possible outcome of these letters and any replies he made) was because he never sent anything to her. He wrote a response to every one of her letters, sealed them and addressed them to her…

But he never found the courage to send them.

Or perhaps he was just so furious with her, he could not send them.

Whatever the reason, Rúmil felt horrible for both his brother and his surrogate mother, and friend, Laereth. If they had only realized so long ago that they needed to stay together, in one place, for each other, then perhaps they would not have had to live for more than two millennia in utter turmoil over the issue. It was very true that both he and Orophin missed Laereth and Cuileth a great deal… nay more than a great deal… but they had maintained decent relations over that time through letters, and they both understood that Laereth wished to spend time with her brother. If anything, they understood the need for family, even though Rúmil had been very young then. However, even to this day, they did not know the full reason as to her leaving, though they had speculated that it could have been due to a budding romance between Laereth and Haldir that neither could grasp, which had led to their fighting.

It was a foolish reason, he thought, but Haldir had seemed not to show any outward signs of being angry. When she had gone to Mirkwood, Haldir had maintained them well, gone on to find many an elleth willing to cure his woes, and worked his way up through the ranks of wardenship, all the way to now being March Warden. Rúmil only hoped that Laereth had found what she had been looking for, or successfully hid from the things she did not want to admit, by going to Mirkwood.

It almost seemed as though Haldir was too pigheaded to give in and reconcile, and she was just unforgiving enough not to take his apologies should he offer them to her through the letters. That could have been why Haldir had not the courage to send his letters. Perhaps in these letters were apologies. Maybe it was the other way around… maybe it was Laereth's fault for the fights they had before she left. Maybe she was the one that was too narrow minded…

But he knew it was useless to speculate.

"Does Haldir-," Rúmil started.

"No," Orophin interrupted.

"Where is he?"

"At the old talan getting the last of his personal effects," Orophin said.

Rúmil sighed, "What are you looking for? We both know there have been no new letters from her for five hundred years."

Orophin glanced up at him, looking at him closely for a moment, "I know, I just had to check… to see if there was one with any mention of her coming for the ceremony tonight."

"She will be here," Rúmil said.

"She has sent no word to us," Orophin replied.

Rúmil nodded, "But she is Laereth. Even with their differences, she would never miss him being named March Warden."

"Do you think Haldir will get angry?" Orophin asked, sitting back in his seat and letting out a long sigh.

"There is only one way to find out," he pointed to the sealed replies, in which held all the answers to their questions; whether the letters were those of anger or of perfuse apologies for the way he acted.

The older brother glanced at the yellowed envelopes, as though he were debating on opening them, but he shook his head in resolve. "As much as I want to get into Haldir's business to help him, reading his mail is too personal… especially if he could not even send it to Laereth in Mirkwood."

"I agree," Rúmil said, but kept staring at the letters. If only he had the ability to see through the thick parchment.

"Do you need help moving your things into the old talan?" Orophin asked.

"Nay, Haldir has helped with most of it," he answered, "especially since there was no moving of furniture besides the beds… Are you sure you want me to have our talan?"

Orophin nodded his head and began to place the letters back into the box. He latched it shut and carried it over to the drawer in the desk he had found it in. "It will be good for you to live there. You enjoy it more anyway."

Rúmil frowned, and looked down at his hands. He always felt horrible when issues like this came up. It was clear that neither Haldir or Orophin liked to live in their mother and father's talan much, because of the memories it brought back, but he being so young when they left, he never really had any memories of them, so it was just another place for him live. Of course it was a place with all of the happy memories of his childhood with Laereth and Haldir, but he had never been gifted with the ties Haldir and Orophin held to it.

The door burst open then, Haldir entering with an armful of things and setting them down on the table. He looked between his brothers, and then at the kitchen. "What good are you two? You sneak into my talan, to do Elbereth knows what, and do not even think to make the morning meal."

"We did not know if you had already eaten," Rúmil said, going through a few of the things Haldir had brought with him

"The talan is emptied of my things, Rúmil," Haldir replied. "You are free to now get settled."

"Thank you," he said.

Haldir moved about, setting a pot over the fire to warm water for tea. His younger brothers watched him move about the room as though he were higher than any bird in the sky, unbelievably joyful for one time in his life. After all, he was now March Warden, the one thing he had always wanted to be, so it was no surprise that it had actually… finally… brought a smile to his face.

"We have a gift to you from both of us, Haldir," said Orophin, "but I know not when it will be ready."

"If it will be ready," Rúmil muttered to himself.

Orophin shot him a sour look, and glanced back at Haldir, "I hope that you will like it, but we shall see."

Haldir laughed, "I am sure I will like it. You two have never failed in giving gifts."

Rúmil could not help but wonder if they had failed this time, but he pushed away that thought. Everything would work out, it had to.

* * *

They rode at gallop for four days straight, stopping only for short bouts of rest and for food. The word had come late that Haldir was to be named March Warden of Lórien, because the messenger was stopped by bad storms over the plains for a few days. She had grown angry when he had arrived so late, allowed only a moment to decide what she was going to do, and prepare herself for the journey. So she and Cuileth threw a few things together into a satchel bag, grabbed their swords, bows and quivers and mounted their horses… taking off on a journey they hoped did not have them running into foul creatures that would harm them in any way. 

And finally, on the morning of the fourth day, they sighted the thick mellyrn of Lothlórien. They rode even faster and harder, and soon reached the outline of the realm. It was not until now, whilethey were being guided through the forest, that she had time to stop and think of all the things she had not while in haste to get here.

The thing that now weighed on her mind the most was whether or not Haldir even knew of her coming. What would he think with her there? It was obvious that Orophin and Rúmil had been the only ones to know of sending the missive out to ask her to come… after all, Haldir had not written to her in all of her time that she had been away. And truthfully, she had no idea how she was to feel now that she was going back and after having been neglected for so long, even after all of the letters she sent to Haldir.

"I forgot how beautiful it was," Cuileth remarked.

Only half-hearing this, Laereth snapped out of her reverie and glanced at her sister, "What?"

"I said that I forgot how beautiful it was," she said with a happy sigh. "I have missed Lórien, but I love Mirkwood as well."

Laereth chuckled, "I think it is like that with all Elven realms. If you find that this is the realm where your heart truly lies, though, while we are here, I think you should stay."

"And what of you?" Cuileth asked. "What of your heart?"

"I would rather not speak of that right now," she replied. "It is best to not think about it until it is absolutely necessary."

Cuileth chuckled lightly, "I would hope you had gotten over him by now, so that only tells me that perhaps it was love."

Laereth shot her a silencing glare, "Stop now. There are many other things I must deal with before I can talk of that."

"It is so like you to put things off to the very last moment," Cuileth replied, but was not allowed to say anymore as they passed into the city of Caras Galadhon, still as wonderful and beautiful as it had been when they left. They dismounted their horses and stretched their aching legs for a few moments, before realizing that a steward had been sent down to greet them upon their arrival to the city.

The handsome Silvan ellon smiled and bowed his head slightly to them, "My Lord and Lady request that you have an audience with them before you settle in. I shall escort you."

"Thank you," Laereth replied, and went to grab her things from her horse, but they were already gone.

The ellon chuckled, "The stable hands took them for you. Your things will be taken to your guest talans while you have your audience."

She glanced at Cuileth and they shrugged their shoulders, following after the ellon. They were halfway up the stairs to the large palace within the trees when the ellon turned to glance at them, "Any guests of the new March Warden are taken in high regard."

Laereth pursed her lips thoughtfully, "I know not if we are guests of the March Warden, or if he will accept us as guests, but of his brothers, we are guests."

The steward smiled, "I believe that the Lord and Lady hold in high esteem anyone who is a guest of that family. They each have proven themselves many times over to be ellyn of the utmost charisma, authority and character."

Cuileth giggled, "Well, at least they turned out fine, Laereth."

Laereth had to laugh at that comment. While she was not surprised that they had turned out to be such fine Elves in the eyes of others, it was nice to know that they had not gone other directions in their lives. "That is true."

"Except, I must say, that since I have come here with the Lord and Lady, I have found that the younger two are both very devious when it comes to jesting with others, or making plans," the ellon continued.

"I would expect as much," Laereth replied. They came tothe large, open aired flet, where a good number of Elves were sitting and enjoying the day. Off to the side was the venerable and mighty Lord Celeborn, and his supremely beautiful and powerful wife, Lady Galadriel. She had met the Lord and Lady once before, when they stayed in Lórien after the wars. Her mother had been assigned to be Galadriel's handmaid during the stay, so Laereth had helped her with that, and in the process met both the High Elves.

They stood up from their seats and walked over to them then, without making her and Cuileth go to them as many other high lords might have waited for. She found it most wonderful and surprising of the Lord and Lady, of which she had heard many great things about from Orophin in his letters. He had said they were mighty and powerful, but never did they use their power for wrong things. They were also said to be kind and charitable. All in all, they were to be better than Amroth had ever been, but she had no way of knowing that for sure.

Laereth bowed to them, Cuileth following her lead. Once they were straightened and looking at each of the rulers, Galadriel smiled warmly, "Welcome back to Lothlórien, Laereth and Cuileth."

She was surprised the Lady knew their names, but she smiled graciously, "It is wonderful to be back here."

"Our new March Warden will be quite surprised that you have come back," said Celeborn, looking over them both, as though judging their worth.

"I do not even think he knows," said Laereth.

Celeborn chuckled, "Nay, he does not, but he will be happy to have you here from what Orophin and Rúmil have told us."

The Lady stepped down the stairs to them, and spoke directly to them so the prying ears and eyes of the other Elves around were privy to no more of the conversation. "I know of the haste in which you have traveled to this event, and that you had little time to prepare things to bring. I have had some dresses from my finest seamstresses sent to your guest talans. You are welcome to keep each of them, as a small gift from a very thankful ruler to the elleth who managed to keep Haldir training to become a warden, and not stop because of his parents' leaving. We would be at a huge loss if we did not have his leadership now."

Laereth knew then that the Lady either knew a lot by reading into the thoughts of others, or had spoken to Haldir of his past before, and knew all the sordid, and happy, details of that past. "Thank you, my lady, though I am sure I do not deserve that credit."

Galadriel smiled, "You deserve it more than you know. During your stay here, I hope to speak some more with you, but there are things for this evening I must tend to, so that I can ensure everything will go off without any problems."

"I understand, my lady," Laereth nodded.

"You will know the gowns which are meant to be worn this eve, because they will be of the finest and luxurious cloth and handiwork," Galadriel replied. "And you will also sit at the high table with us, the guest of honor and his brothers this evening. Orophin and Rúmil have alreadyasked us about this."

Laereth bowed her head slightly again, "Thank you very, very much for your kindness, my lady."

Galadriel nodded, and motioned for an elleth to come over to them, "Rodwen will show you to your talans and the baths when you are ready, but you will have company in a few moments."

And on cue, came a commotion from a side staircase, and out came two ellyn, pushing each other slightly before standing up straight, smoothing out their tunics and catching their breath. Laereth tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to, especially when the ellyns' eyes glanced over them and recognition spread across their faces. She could not believe that they were actually the Orophin and Rúmil she once knew, now that they were completely matured, and exceptionally handsome like their elder brother. But she had little time to remark on their beauty as they ran over to them.

Orophin, who was the larger of the two, picked her up and hugged her close to him, saying, "I cannot believe you made it! Thank Elbereth you made it!"

"I would not miss this," she said, hugging him tightly, though he did not put her down on the ground as Rúmil had done with Cuileth after hugging her closely. Finally, after Rúmil cleared his throat in an annoyed fashion, Orophin set her on her feet, and she was allowed to hug Rúmil. She stepped back after a few moments, and looked over each of the fine specimens of Elven maleness presented to her. "Look at you two… when I left I had not imagined you would turn out like this."

Rúmil laughed, "I was only ten years old when you left, of course I have changed… and I have now come to realize what the definition of beauty is, in an elleth… and you two are fine examples."

"Elbereth, make him stop, please," Orophin pleaded, but laughed. "It is true, though, Rúmil. We were young and had not noticed that we were in the company of beautiful ellyth."

Laereth laughed at them, "That is enough flattery for now, I know that you two have not told Haldir about this. Nothing will save you if this plan goes ill, not even empty words of praise."

"We hope it does not," Orophin replied. "But I speak the truth about you, Laereth. I did not realize that the elleth I loved so dearly was as stunning as you."

"You have become quite the charmer," Laereth said.

Orophin chuckled, "I learned it all from Haldir, but Rúmil was much more astute a student than I was in ways of wooing ellyth."

"Well, during my stay, I am sure to find this out," she replied and let out a long sigh. "What are your plans? When do you wish for Cuileth and I to make our appearance?"

"More appropriately, it would be when do we wish to be yelled at and given three months border duty?" Rúmil interjected.

"Before the ceremony later this afternoon," Orophin said, glancing at Rúmil with a displeased look. "We have to operate in the mindset that this will all be to his liking, Rúmil."

Laereth sighed, hoping that thinking like this would truly yield at least a civil welcome from Haldir. She could not expect a heartfelt welcome, complete with hugging and laughter like they had gotten with Orophin and Rúmil, especially knowing the state in which she had left their relationship in when she went to Mirkwood. "We will think that. Perhaps it would be better if I were the only one to be around when he realizes we are here."

"That is what we had planned," Rúmil said. "It is still early in the day… perhaps after you rest you could take a walk about the city."

She laughed, "I had already planned on doing that, but I suppose that would be the best idea. He cannot commit a horrible murder in the midst of the city, can he?"

"Nay, he cannot," Orophin said. "Then we should let you go so you can rest. You may need all of your energy."

Elbereth… if only they could have been here while on better terms with Haldir.


	7. Love Rather Than Hate

Chapter 7- Love Rather Than Hate

Haldir sat atop a high flet that early afternoon, over looking the city… his city… and for the first time content with his life. He had achieved the one thing he had always wanted through dedication and hard work. People revered him. People listened to him. But most of all people gave him a type of love to quench the emptiness he held for another.

If only she could be here now to watch him take his oath, swear his allegiance and receive the ceremonial possessions of the office. So long had he dreamed of this, and talked with her about it to no end. She had taken care of his brothers so he could train to be a warden in the first place, sacrificing her own time to help him see to his dreams. It was as much her triumph as it was his, and still he could not find the ability to send her word of this momentous occasion. So long ago she had done so much for him, even before the loss of their parents. She had been a supportive friend and told him he should always strive for excellence and the principles he believe in. She had whipped him into shape when he had been merely an impetuous child, even at one hundred years of age, who was short-tempered and horrible leader.

But that still did not make up for what she had done to him when she left Mirkwood. He had forgiven her for it in his mind by now, he had to so that he focus on other things in his life, but he had never expressed that forgiveness to her. She wrote letter upon letter to him talking about her life and apologize for leaving him, but saying that she needed to stay with her brother for a little while so that Cuileth would also know her brother. He was sure he hurt her greatly every time she did not receive a reply back from him with answers to the questions she had asked. But the truth was, he had answered them. The first ones had been full of anger and discontent while the later ones had turned to those of a week Elf, pouring his heart out to the friend he missed even just sitting in the same room with, much less missing her advice on issues involving him. He missed her… he missed the unconditional love and support of a friend.

And she had taken it away, seemingly without any regard to his feelings. She had left, just like his mother had decided to do. Except, he realized, he had always taken from her, and she was allowed this one thing she wanted, and still he wished to take from her and not allow her to go. It was just a huge paradox to him.

Haldir grumbled to himself and leaned back on his hands. He had to stop thinking like this, or he would be extremely downhearted for the ceremony later this eve, and that was not what he wished for the other Elves to see, or even Galadriel to read in his mind. She did not deserve that when she and Celeborn had been gracious enough to bestow upon him this title.

But he was March Warden, and that was all that mattered now… now he could start making the changes that were so desperately needed an entire age ago.

Though it still would have been nice to have Laereth here to witness this.

"There you are!"

Haldir turned quickly, to find Orophin standing on the last stair before being on the flet. "What is it?"

"The seamstress stopped by your talan to drop off your tunic for this evening, and she was flustered she could not find you," Orophin replied. "She is easily bothered when things do not go as to her plan."

"I know," Haldir said, thinking to the young seamstress who had caught his fancy more than once.

Orophin rolled his eyes, "It is not fair, you know."

"What is not fair?" he questioned, standing up and straightening his tunic and leggings.

"That before you were March Warden, you received the attention of numerous ellyth, and now that you _are_ March Warden, you will attract the attention of even more," Orophin said.

Haldir chuckled to himself and patted his brother's back, "I will share, for I do not foresee me spending much time in the city now that I am March Warden. The ellyth will have to be kept company until I return."

Orophin shook his head and laughed lightly, "You know, as March Warden you are to be more straight-laced."

"Now look who is lecturing me on such an issue," Haldir said, stepping down onto the steps as they started their descent of the flet. "If I do recall last eve correctly, you and Rúmil were quite wanton with your ways."

"The wine was good," the younger brother replied with a smile, walking beside his brother.

"What are your plans for this afternoon?" Haldir asked. "I am hungry and wondering if you would not mind a bite to eat and then perhaps some practice with the swords… I need to release some anxious energy."

Orophin glanced at him, "Well, Rúmil decided to do something for a change and is fixing the noon meal, but after that you may not wish to go spar. Or perhaps you may wish to spar with someone else."

Haldir looked at his brother, trying to discern what he meant by that comment for a long while before shaking his head, "You two are odd sometimes."

"We learned it from you," his brother laughed as they turned and went over the bridge to go to the old family talan.

As they neared the door, Haldir could hear the giggle of ellyth from inside the room as Rúmil regaled them with some type of story about his escapades as a newly matured Elf. He glanced at Orophin, "You have arranged for company? You know, our more reserved kin would think this completely horrible with the way we give our affections to others."

"At least we have a good time doing it," Orophin replied. "But this company is a different kind than what you will expect."

Haldir chuckled, and shook his head again for the mischievousness Orophin was not showing him. He got to the door before Orophin, and turned the knob, opening it quickly as he stepped inside. Sitting on the lounge was an elleth he had never seen before, but was nonetheless easy to his eyes. She was of Silvan kin, that was for sure and had light grey eyes that twinkled now with laughter catered by Rúmil. The elleth stood up quickly, smoothing a fine gown over her body, and smiled brightly. She obviously noticed the way he was observing her, his eyes roaming about her body and lingering in places they should not have, as he blushed deeply and averted her eyes to the ground.

"Is that Orophin, Rúmil?"

Haldir's ear perked at that sound of the mellifluous voice, the hair upon the back of his neck standing on end.

"Why?" called Rúmil, glancing at Haldir worriedly.

"Because there is something in this room I am looking for, but I cannot remember where I put it for safe keeping," the elleth called.

It was not her… it could not be her. He had heard of no one coming into the city recently.

"It is I," said Orophin. "I know what it is you are looking for, and I will give it to you later."

"I had thought you lost it," came the reply as the footfalls on the ground grew louder and she rounded the corner to the room. She was busy flipping through the parchment of a leather bound book as well, not looking about her. She smiled to herself and clapped the book shut, gazing up then at Rúmil, "But I am glad you have kept this Rúmil, it is some of my best work."

It _was _Laereth, and he felt his mind do a double take. She was here. Somehow she had gotten word soon enough to make it here for the ceremonies… but he still did not know if he should be overjoyed that she had returned or angry at Rúmil and Orophin for setting him up… or indifferent to her for leaving. What he needed to do now, though, was feel the arms of his friend about him again.

Rúmil nodded in his direction, "Haldir would often read from it for me before I went to bed at night."

Her attention turned then to him, and he beheld her eyes for the first time. She was even more beautiful than he had remembered. It appeared to him she did not know what to do, and stood still, only able to stare at him. He had changed a great deal over the many years they had been separated as well, so he could only imagine what she was thinking. Then her eyes welled with tears, and without any thought he closed the distance between them and took her into his arms. She flung her own arms about his neck as he lifted her from the ground ever so slightly, and she sniffled, "March Warden…"

"Oh how I have missed you so, Laereth," he replied quietly, forgetting that there were others in the room watching them closely, and they were no longer the innocent eyes of before. They would read into this greeting… but he did not care. Surprisingly his mind was made up for him without any real debate… he was not angry at her. Perhaps he had never been angry. He just missed her, and the thought of losing her scared him so much so that he had been angry to fend the thoughts of her away, and that was all he had felt these many years.

"I was worried how you would react…" she said softly, "but when I got word from your brothers, there was no chance I would miss this."

Haldir sighed, placing her on her feet, but not letting go of her. He would never let her leave again. "I care not about your choice anymore, Laereth. I only have missed you."

She smiled softly, and glanced past his shoulder, "I think your brothers are quite happy that you have accepted my arrival so well… they were worried it would cost them unbearable amounts of time on the borders."

He chuckled and parted from her, to glance at his brothers, "Aye, they are lucky."

And then he noticed the other elleth again, and realization hit him full force, and he felt like a depraved ellon for thinking such things about the elleth he had nearly considered a daughter. Cuileth smiled, "Aye, it is me."

Haldir left Laereth's arms reluctantly, and walked over to Cuileth, taking her into a short hug. He pulled away and looked over her, "I bet Laereth has trouble keeping ellon away from you."

"She used to be quite vexed by it," Cuileth replied with a giggle. "But now my husband has trouble protecting me."

"Husband? You are wed?" Haldir asked.

"Aye, he once was from Lórien before the Third Age…" she nodded, lifting her hand up, brandishing the golden ring upon her finger. "We have been thinking about coming back to live with our son Failo."

Laereth interrupted, "We left in such a hurry, we had no time for an entourage or to gather much of our things, so our brother and Cuileth's husband will be coming with our things later."

"You know, if your other brothers do not approve of him, we will have to do away with him," Haldir warned.

Cuileth laughed, "I shall warn him to be on his best behavior then."

A silence passed between all of them, none really knowing what they should say in turn. Haldir glanced back at Laereth who smiled slightly, "Rúmil had prepared the meal for us… but I cannot say that I am very sure he is qualified to be working with fire."

Rúmil harrumphed and Haldir laughed, "I would agree. He has singed his hair many times."

"You can just go forage for your own food then," Rúmil replied with a laugh. With that, they sat down to eat the meal in polite conversation, Haldir still trying to get over the fact that Laereth was back, and had come back for him.

* * *

The meal was over, and the others took their leave because Haldir offered to escort her back to the talan rather than go down for a spar with Orophin like he had originally planned. They walked in a long, but companionable, silence, her arm in his as he guided her through the city. Some of the other curious Elves looked at them strangely as they passed, or peeked their head out their balcony doors to see the newcomer and why the new March Warden was on escorting and elleth like this… because he never escorted an elleth like this. His time with females was usually limited to brief passion plays within his talan, as he never held a serious relationship with any of them. 

Finally, she broke the silence with a sigh, "So you are really fine with this visit?"

"Aye, I am," he said, stopping and gazing down at her. "I have fretted over what I would do if we were to ever see each other again for such a long time, that I did not know how I truly felt anymore about the way we left things. Elbereth, I was debating it just before Orophin came to fetch me. There are still things I do not understand, but the moment I saw you, my heart chose the correct path for me, and that was to be glad that my closest friend has returned."

Laereth nodded her head, "Haldir, we do have much to speak of, but I would ask now why you would never return my letters if you felt this way."

Haldir sighed, "I shall explain that to you later, mellon. It will take some time, and drudge up things I do not wish to do now at this moment in such a joyous mood."

The elleth gave her trademarked half smile, "Then you should plan on me asking you later."

"I would expect it," he said, taking her arm and continuing their walk. "So Cuileth is married and has a child?"

Laereth nodded her head, "She is also with child now, though it is so early into her pregnancy, you cannot tell that."

"And what of her husband?" he questioned. "Does he patrol the borders of Mirkwood? I only ask because if they were to come here, I would put him in with the rotation."

"He is an honorable Elf, and serves as Mirkwood's chief jewel smith, though he has served time in the guard of Mirkwood. They met because Cuileth is a seamstress and needed a setting for a jewel to be placed in the King's robe." she replied and let out a wistful sigh. "I could not be happier for my sister, she has found an ellon who would go to the pits of Melkor's lair for her, and was gifted with one of the best behaved little Elflings you could hope for."

They walked for a little longer in quiet, until the question eating away at his insides finally surfaced, "And what of you, Laereth? Are you betrothed or married, perhaps to the prince of Mirkwood?"

"Nay," she said nearly inaudibly, turned her eyes away so he could not see them well as they walked. "There have been a few prospects, but they never fruited into anything. And that prince can be a brat sometimes, especially when you are trying to pay attention to your writing."

"Only a few?" he questioned.

Laereth paused and met his eyes then, "Perhaps my love was here in Lothlórien the entire time?"

Haldir felt his throat tighten at that comment obviously directed at him, and he quickly pushed it away, "That is what you get for leaving Lórien."

She scoffed and chuckled lightly, "I figured that would come from your mouth, but I suppose I deserve that. Would me having stayed in Lórien, though, changed anything between us?

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"Had I stayed, would we have finally given into the urges we both shared?" she asked and pulled her arm away from him, walking ahead of him for a little bit. "I care deeply for you, Haldir, no matter the time or distance that separates us. You must know that is a reason why I am here."

Haldir caught her arm and turned her to look at him, "We could have, I was willing… so long ago… but you pushed me away."

"If we had done anything, Haldir, I would have given my heart to you fully, and I was afraid I would never get it back, but you would continue to go around delighting in all of the maidens that fell at your feet." she said. "I loved you in more ways than you knew. That is why I was so willing to help you, and do everything for you, but you never noticed me… not like the other maidens around the city. I was just there, and a moment's convenience when you were otherwise not occupied by another elleth."

He stayed silent, his mind reeling from the words she was saying. What she was accusing him of was true, but he had come to learn there were other feelings belied by his intentions to experiment in the flesh with her. She was, however, never a moment's convenience. But he could not say this to her, so he questioned, "Loved me? You no longer do?"

"You are a friend Haldir," she said and turned her eyes away from his. "I do not think I can put so much into a love again that is unrequited. I will love you as a friend."

"And should something happen between us?" he questioned.

Laereth pursed her lips and met his eyes quickly, "Like what, seeing as we are only just friends?"

"I know not…" he sighed. "Let us stop talking about this, we already agreed not to say anything on the subject, and now listen to us."

She nodded her head and smiled slightly, "I will leave you now, Haldir, so that I may prepare for the ceremony and celebration this eve."

He watched her walk away, and he felt himself sigh heavily. He had always loved her, but he could never tell her that. He could never commit himself to her… not after the vow he made to himself so long ago after his mother's leaving to go to Valinor. She wished for marriage and a family, and he could not give her that.

* * *

mellon- friend 


	8. Nothing Has Changed, Or Perhaps It Has

_A/N: Dress… based on a dress worn by Arwen, but only shown for a millisecond in the films. The color means something. ;-) The idea for the ceremony comes from the idea of a Medieval knighting ceremony. I have found some very interesting information on the subject, culled it all together and made this chapter. Since Elves really did not have 'church' or God and Country to protect, I had to change a lot of the real knighting ceremonies, as the cleansing of one's soul through prayer was predominantly the things leading up the actual ceremony in front of everyone. Besides that, the ceremony fits well. _

_Sorry about the long wait... Uni is hectic..._

_Now on with the story…_

Chapter 8- Nothing Has Changed, Or Perhaps It Has

She had never felt such luxurious cloth in her life; it was a rich color of the deepest ruby and of the softest velvet. The gown that the Lady sent to her was amazing in all it's qualities from the large bell sleeves to the gold thread embroidered bullion in delicate patterns around the low collar line and low back, and around her arms. Such a gown was something she was not used to, though she had been privileged with many articles of clothing all her life. This gown was specifically for a lady of the court, or a ruler of a realm, not for a writer of fiction. But she imagined she could live with this rather beautiful thing for the night, even though she was sure no one else would wear such a bright color.

There was a knock at her chamber door, and she walked over to open it, finding Cuileth in a gown of finest silk satin, the color a dark navy with an inset in the bodice of a delicate ivory lace. Laereth smiled at her sister, "We will definitely stand out tonight."

"We?" Cuileth questioned. "Your dress is far more magnificent than mine is."

Laereth laughed, "I have never felt such fine cloth, besides the cloth you work with for Thranduil and his family."

Cuileth nodded, and stepped closer to her, reaching up to run her hands along the golden bands on the arms. She moved even closer, bending down over her to inspect the fine detail, "This is truly amazing. I have never made anything like this before."

"It has been said that the weavers and seamstresses here that came with Galadriel are very skilled," Laereth said. "But I feel ostentatious in this."

"She obviously sent it to you for a reason," Cuileth replied.

"I know, that is why I am wearing it," she chuckled. "It only will make me feel odd to be noticed. It is Haldir's day."

Cuileth smiled softly, "That it is."

"I have missed him and his brothers so much," Laereth replied, walking over to the dressing table and reaching for the brush.

Her sister took the brush from her hand, and went to brushing her hair out for her. Cuileth sighed, "Haldir is very handsome. I do not recall him being so before."

"You were young," Laereth said. "Even as a young ellon he was fair of face beyond many of the other Elves here. But he has changed a great deal since then… since his duties on the border."

"How so?"

"His physique is superior to that any other male Elf I have seen… except perhaps Thranduil's, and Lord Celeborn's," she said quietly, resting her chin on her hand.

Cuileth continued to brush her hair, even though Laereth was slumped slightly, and chuckled, "He is, though I much enjoy my husband's lean athletic body to the bulkiness."

"But he is not bulky," Laereth said. "He is only completely lean, sculpted muscle."

"You know, if I did not know any better, I would say you have a new interest in him," Cuileth said furtively, and stopped brushing.

Laereth sighed wistfully, "Nay, I am only remembering what it was like on those nights after we put you children to sleep, and we would sit and talk for hours by the fire. I would end up falling asleep on his chest…"

The younger sister laughed, "Thêl nín, this is the sound of elleth who wishes for something but cannot seem to have that something."

"I really do not wish to talk about it tonight," Laereth said.

"Fine," Cuileth said quietly, and stepped back. "We should be heading down… there are many Elves already gathered around the field where this is taking place."

"Let us not waste another moment, then," Laereth smiled and linked her arm with Cuileth's. They made their way down the long flights of stairs toward the forest floor and where the honoring ceremony was to take place. They were met with many curious stares from the other Elves. She recognized many of them, but could not quite remember their names. Within their eyes too, she supposed, was that same look of recognizing someone, but not quite knowing who exactly it was.

She smiled at a few of them as they went by, but she was not made to mingle with anyone when Orophin appeared out of nowhere. He smiled and bowed his head slightly to them, "My ladies… I have come to escort you to the processional."

"Thank you," Laereth laughed as he offered both of his arms and she and Cuileth took them.

He looked at both of them and smiled, "I feel like a very lucky Elf right now, walking through the forest with both of you."

"I would say likewise walking with you, Orophin," Laereth replied with a smile. They walked along the path, and were greeted with the sight of the fair Lord and Lady, Haldir, Rúmil and a few other severe looking Elves she thought would be other wardens. Perhaps Haldir's second and third in command… or anything of the like, as she wondered what place his brothers held. Haldir turned with the others upon their arrival, and smiled at them…

That was before he took to regarding them with his grey eyes. He spent a few moments upon Cuileth, but then his eyes traveled to her, and remained on her for a good while as he looked up and down her body. Laereth blushed slightly, pleased that she was being regarded in such a way by him, but it still made her feel slightly uncomfortable… as it had when he first saw her again. The way he had looked at her then was just unnerving… but then she had done her fair share of ogling as well when she saw him.

"Good, the last of you have arrived," Celeborn said.

Orophin handed Cuileth off to Rúmil and glanced down at Laereth, "We are to follow the Lord and Lady out. Then Haldir will come after that."

"That is fine with me," she smiled, and without saying anything to Haldir, fell into line behind the Lord and Lady, the other two Elves then behind them. She had not pictured so much pomp and circumstance over such a thing as this, but it appeared, as they made their way to their places on the field, that the Lord and Lady had spared nothing in creating this ceremony. She could only imagine what was to come in the evening at the feast. Once everyone was in their place, Haldir stood before his Lord and Lady, wearing only black leggings and a black under tunic.

Celeborn spoke aloud, "Since our time here among you honorable Elves, we have come to realize one thing. The wardens of Lórien are a very prideful bunch… they are all very skilled and very deserving of the high credit we give them. However, there is one Elf whom stands here to be honored this afternoon who has taken his call of duty so seriously, and with so much integrity, that he deserves a higher distinction among us. He will continue to protect the weak, right wrongs, and honor all ellyth in his capacity as March Warden and Guardian."

Laereth smiled softly to herself as the buckling of the golden armor to Haldir commenced, both Orophin and Rúmil doing this task. He stood there, so full of pride, and yet with an air of humility. As contradictory as it was, the energy coming from him was powerful. He was powerful… he was just arrogant enough, and yet held the deepest gratitude for being chosen for this position among all the other wardens. She had heard all of the ideals he spouted when he was young about how he could improve, even more so than the others before, the service in which he held so dear to his heart. How he could restore the glory that was once the guard of Lórien under Amdir, before Amroth came along and made Tirithion the March Warden. And she had the greatest confidence in him that he could do this. Haldir was ready for this task; he was equal to it.

Haldir held such a profound love for his people, and the greatness of the realm, he would never founder.

She sighed happily. She was very proud of him.

If only his parents were here to see this. Orthordir would have been so proud with his son… nay, all of his sons.

That was when noticed the slight sadness in his eyes. He was thinking of them. She wished she could go to him and embrace him, to tell him that his father was watching this from wherever he was in the Halls. However, she put that thought into the back of her mind to do later in the evening when she gave him the ring that his mother gave to her on her departure.

The leather gauntlet upon his right arm was put into place and tightened, this the last piece of his golden armor. Next, a steward came to her and bowed. She looked at him, wondering what was going on, and then down at the crimson folded cloth he was holding out to her. And Celeborn spoke, "Haldir will be vested with the colors of his position, and now of his house."

Laereth understood then why Galadriel had this red gown made and sent for her, she just hoped that Galadriel did not do so this because she thought there was something else between them besides friendship. Deciding it best just to operate on the thought that Galadriel knew of their past, as a make-shift family, and that was why she had the red dress sent to her, Laereth smiled at the steward and nodded her head. She removed the cloak from his hands and looked down at it quickly, hoping it was not too complicated to fasten around him, because the last thing she wanted was to appear unable to do this. But she knew before she even stopped in front of him, it would be difficult to do this.

She took a claming breath as she stood in front of him, facing him as he regarded her with a curious expression. As she took the cloak in her hands, and prepared to place it about his neck by moving her arms about him, she realized it would be impossible for her to reach up and around easily. Not one to give in, though, she set her jaw and quickly tried to figure out how she was going to accomplish this- Orophin and Rúmil had already gone to the side to watch this.

Then she heard him chuckle softly, and glanced up at him, "You find this funny, do you?"

He smiled brightly and bent down slightly so that she could reach around him and bring the two pieces together with the large gold fastener that was intricately carved with mallorn leaves. Glad that it had not been too difficult to accomplish, stepped back to make sure everything was correctly placed. She reached up to move his hair out of the way that had accidentally shifted as she fastened it about his neck, and met his eyes as she did so. Again she felt the same things she had only a bit before, watching as the armor was attached to his body. There was also some other thing there in his grey eyes, but she dared not interpret it beyond perhaps gratitude that one might feel for a dear friend taking part in this special honoring ceremony.

Laereth smiled, feeling emotion come to her eyes and again she was overwhelmed with the pride she felt for him. She reached out and touched his cheek softly, a simple touch to let him know that she was proud to be his friend, and stepped back from him. In a show of propriety to the very soon to be March Warden, she curtsied lowly before making her back to stand beside Cuileth.

The ceremony continued on, as Celeborn spoke again and Orophin and Rúmil placed Haldir's sword about his waist and his quiver upon his back, but Cuileth gazed at her suspiciously for a long while after she returned. Laereth tried to ignore it as best as she could, but it grew hard to do after a long while. She glanced at Cuileth and admonished lowly, "Not today."

Her sister nodded and turned back to proceedings as Haldir was just standing from receiving his accolades as March Warden from Celeborn. The Elf lord smiled and spoke to the rest of the congregates, "To continue honoring our March Warden, a feast will commence in an half hour's time on the celebration lawn."

* * *

And so she found herself with Cuileth, Orophin and Rúmil down at the feast, enjoying themselves immensely while Haldir made his way around the crowd, speaking with everyone and accepting their praises and best wishes as he began his new post. Laereth had not spoken to him since the ceremony because Orophin and Rúmil pulled him away to help remove his armor so he could put on real, more comfortable clothes for the feast. He had returned quickly, dressed in dark leggings, but with the most beautiful white silk tunic she had ever seen. Perhaps it was so because it was on his body, but it was still fine fabric and brocaded with golden thread and tied loosely about the waist with a red satin sash. Spectacular was too loose a word to describe such magnificence before her eyes, and she was sure that the other ellyth agreed with her by the way they had instantly attached themselves to him upon his arrival. 

Haldir played along with their cunning advances, smiling and caressing cheeks whenever necessary, but he never did anything more than that. Laereth wondered if he would later, in privacy, have the company of one or many of these ellyth. It seemed likely to her that he would, and she was not very pleased about it. Of course she would have gladly switched her place with any of the ellyth who had held onto him so tightly during the evening, but she knew that was impossible. He would never see her in that light, or give into his feelings (if they were already there).

Laereth sighed and sipped her wine, turning back to the conversation going on about her, Orophin and Rúmil regaling them with yet another tale of their many scheming plots since they had been in Mirkwood. Most of them she could not believe, but there were a few that were just too outlandish not to believe. Except she enjoyed listening to them as they told of their pranks and schemes, as they had both turned into vivid story tellers. She wondered what it was like for Haldir to raise them with all of these troubles after she left.

After she left…

A sudden wave of guilt spread over her then, as she thought of what she left Haldir to deal with- alone. She should have never gone, but she had to. Cuileth deserved time to grow up with her brother, and see Mirkwood, where their family had originated. On a more personal note, Laereth had to leave before she did anything she would regret… like make a fool of herself by trying to kiss him or by proclaiming what truly was within her heart. He would have just laughed at her and shooed her away like he usually did, not caring about what she had said to him. To this day she wondered if he even realized the true feelings she showed but did not speak of with him while still here in Lórien.

"Laereth?"

She jerked her head up, not realizing she had gone so deep into thought and meditation, her eyes meeting a red sash. Laereth moved her eyes up his body and met his eyes, "Yes, Haldir?"

"I was wondering," he paused and smiled. She hoped he would ask her to dance, and she waited on baited breath. He turned to the Elf beside him. She had not noticed the Elf standing beside him before. "If I could reintroduce you to Arphenon…"

Laereth tried to mask her disappointment with a smile, looking at the Elf. He was one of the Elves that had walked out with them and helped with the ceremony, and she had not recognized him. Arphenon had grown much the same ways Haldir had. She sighed, "Arphenon? I did not recognize you earlier, I feel horrible."

Arphenon laughed, "I did not recognize you either, Laereth. I thought you were some visiting lady. Haldir only just told me."

She watched as Haldir slipped away, leaving them to talk. Laereth grumbled to herself as she took another sip of her wine. "It is good to see you again."

"As it is you," he smiled and held his hand out to her. "May I have the next dance?"

Laereth hated when males did this… stick their hand out as though she would say yes under any circumstance. It was so presumptuous of them. Perhaps they did it to secure a dance with her, because they knew she was not a rude person and would not brush the hand away. Nevertheless, she let out another sighed and smiled faintly, reaching out for his hand. She had nothing better to do anyway since Haldir had neglected his visitors the entire night, though she had to remind herself it was really only herself she was worried about receiving no attention from Haldir.

They made their way to the clearing and jumped into the moderate tempo dance, going about it easily. This dance was almost finished, so they stayed in for the next one, a much slower, pleasant one that allowed them time to talk, even though she found herself looking about the field for Haldir and not paying her total attention to her dance partner.

"It is no use looking for him," Arphenon said. "He has left the celebration for an undetermined amount of time."

Laereth knew what this meant, and scowled slightly, "He has not changed?"

"Nay," Arphenon said. "He still goes about with any elleth he can find, but only speaks of you."

That comment caught her off guard, "What do you mean by that?"

Arphenon smiled slightly, "Laereth you know you hold a place in his heart, a greater place than any other thing in this world besides his brothers."

"He has an odd way of showing it," Laereth replied. "And I do not expect much after I left so suddenly."

"Do you know that when you were still here he warned every ellon who ever spoke a word to you to stay away from you?" Arphenon questioned.

"No," she said, pausing for just a moment, and getting off the flow of the dance.

Arphenon nodded his head, "There were many times I wished to court you, but Haldir only glared at me when I spoke to him of it. I imagine it was like that with all the other ellyn. He wished to keep you for himself, though he did not realize what he was doing at the time. He still does not know it, but it is there. The other elleth re just to take his mind from you and what he cannot have with you."

"Does he not know I would give him everything and anything I could?" she questioned quietly.

"That is what I have not been able to figure out all these years. It is obvious he wants you so, and yet will not bring himself to uttering those words to you," he said.

Laereth pursed her lips together, "Why do you tell me this now? We have not seen each other in such a long time, and we end up speaking of something long past that he did nothing about long ago."

Arphenon stopped and pulled her aside, away from the other dancers. "I say it now because I saw how he looked at you during the ceremony, and it is obvious he still feels the same."

"I really do not wish to talk any more of this," Laereth said. "If he is going to be thick-headed about it again, then I do not wish to deal with it. He is still my friend and we will be friends, and I will care deeply for him. Thank you for this dance, Arphenon, but I must take my leave now. My travels are catching up with me."

Without waiting for a reply, she turned quickly on her toes and walked toward the edge of the celebration field, and started on her long trek back to her talan. She had enough to think about as it was, until Arphenon added all of these riddles to her mind. Laereth walked slowly, breathing in the fresh air and letting the sound of the party revelers drifting away. Except they were replaced with the sound of high pitched giggles and then the sounds of low moans. She tried to block out the sound, but when she heard Haldir's voice it was hard not to listen.

The least he could have done was take the elleth back to his talan instead of doing whatever he was out in the open for others to hear. When she fully expected words of honeyed reverence to the elleth he was bedding, she was surprised to hear what he actually had to say.

"Caladiel," he uttered, through a heavy breathing.

"Yes, maethron?" she giggled.

Laereth sighed to herself. So Caladiel had turned into one of these elleth Arphenon was speaking of.

"I cannot do this," he mumbled, as it sounded like she muffled him with a kiss.

"And why not?" the elleth questioned. "You certainly feel like you can do this."

Haldir grumbled, and there was some ruffling of clothes (or something to that extent). "Caladiel… I cannot as much I wish for this release."

"When have you ever not been able to do this?" she laughed in a sickeningly sweet way.

"I do not wish to explain myself now," Haldir said.

Laereth found this odd. She had never known Haldir to back out of a situation where and elleth was willing and literally throwing herself at his feet. Apparently so did Caladiel. "Let me at least take care of _that_ for you… you cannot go back to the feast in that compromising state."

"I can take care of this myself… it would not be the first time," he replied authoritatively. "I am sorry, Caladiel, but I just cannot."

"If you tell me that it is because of Laereth, then I will not keep bothering you Haldir," Caladiel said. "It is obvious you are still in love her."

There was no reply from Haldir, and only the rustling of leaves. Laereth thought to try to hide behind a tree, but it was too late as Haldir came out of the bushes, and truly in quite a compromising state. She blushed, turning away from him to make it appear like she had just been walking by and not listening into the conversation. It was useless, though. When he saw her, he let out a heavy sigh, shook his head and walked as swiftly as he could in the direction of his talan.

* * *

thel nin- my sister 

maethron- warrior


	9. Convictions and Morals

Chapter 9- Convictions and Morals

He woke early the next morning, at his normal time, he was sure because he had not stayed out very late the night before. As a matter fact after his little incident with Caladiel, and seeing Laereth, he had gone to his talan and remained there for the rest of the evening until he fell into a fitful slumber that had him noting never to go to sleep as aroused as he was or he would dream rather colorful dreams. He had contemplated on going back to the feast, because he knew how bad it looked for him to leave so early as it was in his honor, but he did not want to face Laereth again. Not after he saw her. And it was evident she definitely saw the state he had been in when he left Caladiel. As far as he knew, she had heard the entire conversation between him and Caladiel, thereby hearing the speculations.

But these speculations… they had been around for sometime after Laereth left for Mirkwood, especially when he had grown quite withdrawn after she left, recovering from his wounds of being without her. They had not said so much to his face before she left, and did not after she left. Now that she was back, however, the others who knew her and knew of their long past together, immediately started chattering and gossiping about what could possibly be going on with the new March Warden and Laereth that she had come back so suddenly and for this occasion. He was resistant to their chatter, because he knew what they said was true. He knew he had loved her since his father told him his task was to tell Laereth as much, but just as he had been collecting the courage to tell her this, their fathers had been slain and their mothers left for Valinor. After that, he had vowed to himself that nothing could be between him and Laereth or any other female for that matter.

He was an Elf of his word, and he planned on sticking with his convictions.

Except that still did not explain why he had acted in such a way with Caladiel. During Laereth's absence he took what he wished with the other maidens, never really caring what happened. With Laereth here, however, he worried that she would judge him, and that she would be right in the way she judged him. The last thing he wanted was for her to think less of him. But that was only part of it, he knew. It was because last night, with Caladiel, all he could think about was what Arphenon was doing with Laereth. Haldir knew his friend's intentions with Laereth since they were young ellon, and still he had pawned him off on her so he could go to his rendezvous. He did not even say one word to her the entire feast. And for that he was ashamed.

Then his thoughts turned to Laereth alone, and the instant he could no longer see Caladiel in front of him, and only saw Laereth, he knew it was time to stop until he could sort out what he was going to do about this.

Why did it have to be so damned complicated?

Haldir grumbled to himself and sat at the table in the kitchen of his talan, sipping his tea. So much for this being a peaceful time with Laereth. Perhaps if he went straight back out to the borders instead of staying within the city for the entire month like he had originally planned would be better. But he would not do that either. Laereth had traveled too far and they had not seen each other in so long that he could not leave the city. He wished to spend time with her, no matter how odd his feelings were for her at the moment.

There was a faint knock at the door of his talan, and he went to open it, not knowing who to expect. He pulled the door back to reveal the elleth of his thoughts, dressed in a diaphanous gown of pale blue. Did she do this to him on purpose? Really, the gown she wore looked more like bed chamber attire than anything. But she smiled and swallowed softly, saying, "Good morning, Haldir."

"Good morning," he said, trying to divert his attention elsewhere than on her, but it was useless. He walked away from the door, leaving it open for her to enter if she wished. She stepped in and shut the door quietly, turning back to look at him.

"Why so quiet?" she questioned, spotting the tea pot. Without waiting to ask, she walked through the kitchen and went straight to the cabinet that held the clay cups within them.

He watched her for a moment, astonished that she found them so easily. Haldir sipped his tea, "How did you know where to find those? Have you been in here before?"

Laereth glanced at him, a half-smile on her lips. "They are in the same cupboard as they were in the old talan. One thing easy to learn about you, if you have spent any time with you, is that you are set in your ways. When you find something that works well enough for you, you leave it alone and never try to find new ways of doing things."

"Perhaps I have changed," he suggested.

"Maybe in some ways, but I have not seen it in the little time we have spent together since yesterday," she said. Haldir sighed and gazed up at her as she lowered herself into the seat to his right. She smiled and took a long drink of her tea, "Did you have a pleasant rest of your evening?"

Haldir narrowed his eyes at her. He hoped that she would not bring it up so early in their conversation, for sake of his embarrassment. "Do you think I did?"

"Nay," she said, resting her head on her hand, looking at him closely. She did this for a long while, until she let out a quick breath and took another sip of her tea.

"I am sorry about what happened last eve," he said. "I should not have left you with Arphenon."

"You need not worry, he was every bit a respectable Elf," Laereth replied, picking at the sleeve of her gown. "But I was a little angry the only words you spoke to me were to pawn Arphenon off on me."

"That is what I am sorry about," Haldir muttered.

Laereth smiled, "Do not worry about it, it has passed and there is nothing you can do to change that. However, there was something I needed to give you, but did not have a chance last eve."

"And what is that?" he questioned.

He had not realized that she brought with her a small pouch of dark wine velvet. She opened it up, her long fingers dipping in to extract whatever was inside of the pouch. Laereth glanced up at him for moment, taking his right hand. "When she left, your mother gave me this so that I could give it to you when you became March Warden."

"How could she possibly know I was to become March Warden?" he questioned.

Laereth slipped the large ring upon his ring finger, and looking up at him, locking her gaze on him. "You were so determined there was no way that you would not become March Warden one day, you know that."

Haldir took his hand from hers and brought it closer so he could look at it. He knew exactly what ring it was… with the heavy weight and large green stone centered in the mithril, and he could not keep back the emotions from again rising in him. It had once belonged to his grandfather, who died in the Wars with Sauron directly after the forging of the Rings of Power, and then his father. Now it came to him, and he could not help but feel a certain wariness in wearing it upon his hand, considering it's past, but he would not remove it. It was the only thing linking him to the past, reminding him all that had happened. Laereth sighed, "Your father would have loved to be here to see this occasion, Haldir. But he knew… he always knew you would be March Warden one day."

He sighed heavily, trying to keep his sadness at bay, but it was not working. During the entire ceremony the day before he had thought of his father and mother, and how he would have loved to have them there to witness it as he received his accolades. Again he took a deep breath, and stood up quickly to refill his tea, hoping he could will his misty eyes into a state of remission. He paused with his back to her at the counter, his hand on the tea pot. Then he felt a hand upon his shoulder. Turning quickly, he found Laereth there, realizing he had not heard her get up and approach him.

"I know I have never been any replacement for your parents, Haldir, and the words of praise and encouragement they could have given you," she said quietly, meeting his eyes. "But you must know you will always have me, even if we are separated."

Haldir smiled slightly, feeling the incredible urge to take her into his arms and kiss her. And he did take her into his arms, but resisted the temptation to kiss her. That would have just been too much to take right then. "I am glad you are here, Laereth. You are my family… you have always been my family."

Laereth held onto him tightly, her arms about his neck, and placed a kiss to his cheek, "And I cannot even express to you how proud I was to see you yesterday, standing in front of all those people, swearing your allegiance to Celeborn and Galadriel. I cannot even tell you now, how proud I remain to be your friend."

He pulled back from her, looking down into her eyes. He knew that she had loved him for a long time, even before the death of their fathers. She had said so much many times, and he had only brushed it aside. He knew that was one of the reasons why she left. Yet she was here now, and in his arms. He had every chance in the world to proclaim his own love for her- the love that had taken full hold of him since her departure when he realized how he missed her- but he could not bring himself to do it. If he did, then that could mean only one thing, and the absolute one thing he was not willing to commit to. He would not be like his family- torn apart by war and grief.

She sighed, moving her eyes from his, as though she could sense what he was thinking, touching his cheek softly like she had done at the ceremony, making him nearly lose it from all the emotion that was encompassed in that one, simple touch. He let go of her and she walked back to sit in her seat, "Cuileth received word this morning that her husband and Bainon were on the borders. They should be here by nightfall. Would you care to have the evening meal with us?"

"Aye, I would like that," he said. "But how will you fit everyone into a small guest talan?"

"Rúmil generously offered the talan," she said. "As long as someone else cooked."

"Why do we not have this meal here? It is much larger," Haldir said, looking around.

"Aye it is," she smiled. "Show me around… I must say that I often wondered what type of home Tirithion lived in when he was March Warden."

Haldir stood from his seat, "It is not much now… just yesterday morning did I finish moving my things over here."

"I do not mind," she said, standing and following him around the rather large talan, up to the second level with two bed chambers that were meant for guests or children. He watched her closely as she looked around the rather bare, meagerly furnished rooms. She turned to him, "I did not know Tirithion had children."

"He did not," he replied. "But these were built nonetheless."

Laereth nodded her head, "Just more room for you fill with your family, when you so decide to settle."

Haldir hated how she could just come up with these statements and questions; they made him uncomfortable, but she did not mean to make him uncomfortable. At least he hoped she did not do it on purpose to make him feel so uncomfortable. "Conceivably."

"Conceivably?" she said, with a short laugh and followed him as they left the room and went back down the stairs. "How can you say 'conceivably', Haldir? You cannot tell me you are happy with these sporadic nights with different ellyth."

"There have only been two ellyth who have obliged me so," he replied, not really knowing why he was telling her this.

"That is better than I thought… but no one here looks down upon the immorality of it?" she questioned. "Elves do not give themselves unless they are in at least a committed relationship. Unless you have loved the two ellyth you speak of… then I will stop."

Haldir stopped and turned quickly to look down at her, "Do not lecture me on my morals, Laereth!"

He was beyond angry with these attacks on his ethics. Just because he delighted every so often in the joys of the flesh with ellyth, gave her no right to sound as she did speaking of this. But then he did not know if his anger was because of her, or because this only brought up more of their past and the love he would never be able to tell her about and act upon. He so wanted to be in love, to share in all it's pleasure, and he wanted for an elleth to look at him differently than the March Warden and what he could possibly offer her in bed. But he could not. He would not.

"I am not lecturing," she uttered, glancing at the ground and wringing her hands together. Haldir watched her do this, wondering why she had been so affected by his exclamation. Never before was Laereth so easy to put into place over an issue.

"Then what is it you are doing?" he questioned softly.

"I just think you could do much better than flitting about like a honeybee pollinating flowers in the Lady's garden," she said. "I only wish for you what I wish for myself, and I cannot imagine living the way you do."

"That is because you are a female," he said, turning away from her.

Laereth scoffed, "That is complete nonsense, Haldir. You deserve an elleth who will love you and support you… I just… Do you not want just one elleth to come home to when you return from the borders? A family?"

"In a perfect world, then aye," he said. "But there are reasons I care not to tell you why this cannot happen."

"Then I shall stop badgering you," she replied, letting out a long breath. "If you are happy, then I see no reason to try to change it."

The fact was, he was not happy. He had everything he could possibly ever need in the world, except the one elleth he had ever loved because of their mutual stubbornness. Haldir gazed at her, her eyes moving up to meet his. They locked in one, heady, longing look. There was no mistaking what was there in her eyes, just as he was sure that Laereth could tell exactly what was going on in his head from his eyes. He thought for a moment that he would give in to his restraint, and take her in his arms and kiss her, but the time it took to debate the issue was lost when the door was thrown back and Rúmil came calling for him.

Laereth smiled faintly, and brushed back a piece of hair nervously, walking down the hall to doorway into the kitchen and sitting areas. "Good morning, Rúmil."

There was a moment of silence from the other room, and Haldir could picture Rúmil's mind working over time, trying to piece together this situation with Laereth coming from the direction to his chambers. Haldir walked from the hall out into the room, and the look on Rúmil's face was exactly what he had suspected. It was the dumbfounded, disbelieving, confused look that he had mastered as a young child, that often got him out of sticky situations where he might otherwise have been punished severely.

Rúmil glanced at him and then back at Laereth. Then came back to him, straightening his posture and clearing his throat, "I, uh, I came to ask you if you were free to go spar, but if you are busy… then I, erm, will leave."

Laereth chuckled in an embarrassed manner, and sighed, saying bitterly, "Oh please, Rúmil. Do you ever think _that_ would really happen?"

Rúmil turned and looked at him, worriedly. And Haldir shot him a gagging glare, hoping that he would see enough sense in not replying like he normally would to a statement like that. After all, he and Orophin were the two most vocal when it came to baring the harsh reality of his unspoken feelings, though many times they could not distinguish if it was hate or love he felt for Laereth.

"She is right Rúmil," he said, knowing it would hurt her, but right now he needed to preserve himself from any planning his brothers would do.

"Well… fine," Rúmil said and sighed. "Are you free?"

"I am," Haldir nodded.

"I only came over to give him the ring that I could not last eve," she said. "And I asked for a tour."

Rúmil smiled, "Cuileth was looking for you earlier, about the meal tonight."

"Which reminds me, we will have it here, because it is a larger space," Laereth added before Haldir had a chance.

"Very well," Rúmil nodded.

Haldir sighed, "I shall meet you down at the practice field in a bit."

Rúmil smiled again and walked toward the door, exiting quickly. Haldir turned to Laereth then, and sighed. She smiled softly, "Is it fine if Cuileth and I work here without you?"

"Of course," he said.

She nodded her head and walked toward the door, "I will see you later."

Haldir watched her go, and when she was out of talan, he let out an anguished grunt. More than twice had he nearly kissed her… more than once had the fleeting idea of proclaiming to her passed in his mind. This was going to be a difficult visit to get through, and that was not even considering what could happen if she strayed in Lórien for a long amount of time.

If only he could give in.


	10. Dinner With Friends

_Please remember to review if you read!_

Chapter 10- Dinner With Friends

"So, Haldir," said Rúmil as he shot off an arrow, watching it embed just left of center in the target.

"What?" Haldir questioned, doing the same but hitting the center of the same target.

Rúmil grunted, rolled his eyes and shook his head as he watched Haldir do that again. His elder brother smiled triumphantly and set his bow to the ground, leaning on it and looking at him. Rúmil sighed and took his last shot, this time hitting the target right of center. One day he just wanted to hit the center of the target when against Haldir so he could gloat, but that day was nowhere close. He leaned on his own bow then, and smiled, "So what were you _really_ doing with Laereth when I walked in this morning?"

Haldir glowered at him, and turned to shoot his last arrow. As he aimed, he said, "We were doing just as we said."

When that was finished, landing in the center of the furthest target, he turned again to Rúmil, "She came to give me the ring that naneth left for her to give to me, then I showed her about the talan."

"That was all you did?" Rúmil looked at him suspiciously. "I am no expert on the types of tensions that result from years of repressed and unspoken love, but there had to be something else going on… she did come from your chambers."

"We were never in my chambers," Haldir replied shortly. "And I really wish you would not talk of that. I have not been in love with her…"

Rúmil gave him an incredulous look, and shook his head in dismay, "Just because you will not admit it, does not mean that Orophin and I do not see it. We have always thought you took her leaving so hard because you were in love with her but could not say it to her."

Haldir gazed at him, remaining quiet for a long while, before sighing and shaking his head. Leaving him to stand there, Haldir walked toward the targets to remove his arrows. Rúmil waited for a few moments before following after him. Haldir said, "I would appreciate it greatly if you did not push this. I have enough to deal with on my own without you and Orophin constantly whispering in my ears that I should do something about it. Have you been reading the missives I never sent?"

"So you do not deny the fact that you are in love with her?" Rúmil called victoriously as Haldir again walked to a further target. "Everyone would just be happier if you two kissed and made up."

That was when he knew he stepped over the lines, when the angry look spread on Haldir's face and it turned red. Haldir marched back over to him, grabbed his collar to pull him close, and looked straight into his eyes, "Do not speak of that which you do not know! You know nothing of what it has been like."

"Know nothing of what?" Rúmil questioned cautiously, hoping that he did not take this the wrong way. He had never seen his brother get so angry before, and over such a little thing. Haldir was usually as steady as a rock when it came to everything in life. Hardly was he ever moved by anything. But then again, they were discussing Laereth, and that seemed to always ignite such fierce emotions from him, whether they be of extreme sadness, anger, or happiness.

Haldir released him quickly and looked away, "I am sorry. I let my anger get away with me."

"It is just that today is not the day to be discussing this with me," Haldir said. "I am confused over many things."

"Is any day a good day to speak to you about Laereth and what feelings really reside in your heart and of the thoughts in your mind?" Rúmil mused quietly, collecting his arrows and stuffing them into his quiver.

His brother glanced at him, sighing heavily, "No."

"You will have to face it sooner or later," Rúmil warned. "I may not know Laereth as well as you, but I do know that she will resent you forever if you let her leave again."

"Last time was not about 'letting' her leave," Haldir replied. "She wanted to go, so she went. She would have only disliked me then if I kept her here."

"Did it ever occur to you that perhaps she was testing you? Think of the situation you two were in when she first spoke to you of leaving," Rúmil said. "Were there any chances that she was testing you to see if you really did care for her, and that perhaps she was just not giving herself up to someone that did not? Did it ever occur to you that you let her leave, and she was angry because you let her leave?"

Haldir looked at him, and Rúmil could almost hear his thoughts as he debated the point Rúmil just brought up. But he shook his head, and turned to walk away. "I shall see you at the evening meal."

* * *

Haldir walked toward his talan, deep in thought over the argument with Rúmil. Was it really everyone's prerogative to care so much about his personal life? It seemed now that Laereth was here, not only were the old feelings returning, but everyone around him was making it their duty to shove it in his face, trying to break him of his resolve. 

But as much as he hated to admit it, Rúmil made a very valid point at the end. When she had brought up leaving Lórien, they were in the situation that both wanted something more with each other. They had no idea as to what that something more was, but they knew it involved the very basic need of passion with another. The entire night had been laden with tension, and when she came out to have her bruises healed, he had nearly lost it. He felt such a strong pull to her (more than he was willing to give of himself) that it worried him, and he pushed her away. He pushed her away and told her he would not miss her if she left. Perhaps she was testing him that night, to see if he was willing to give more of himself than one fleeting dalliance. To try to determine what his real feelings with her were and that was why it had not gone beyond the argument and slamming doors.

He was such a dolt sometimes…

How could he have not thought of this before, and end up now getting philosophical advice from his youngest, and least qualified brother? Except that still did not mean Rúmil knew exactly what Haldir had promised so long ago.

Haldir climbed the last bit of stairs to his talan and heard soft laughter coming from within. He cleared his mind as much as he could manage with a long breath before stepping into the talan. The last thing he wanted was for more questions to erupt from Laereth because of the perplexed look he was sure was brilliantly displayed upon his face. Entering the talan, he glanced around, finding that Laereth was busy mixing some type of dough with her hands, and that Orophin was beside her, watching her work. Wondering what had happened with his real brother, who had never taken a predilection to cooking anything, Haldir closed the door, keeping his eyes on them as he tried to understand this all.

Laereth and Orophin turned together when the door shut, and Laereth smiled softly at him, "Who won?"

"Who do you think?" Haldir questioned, not bothering to tone down the arrogance in his voice. Everyone knew he was arrogant, so there was no point in trying to hide it.

Laereth chuckled, "Did you ever let him win as a child?"

"There is not such thing as letting someone win on the battlefield, Laereth," Orophin replied, nudging her side. "Right Haldir?"

"I have heard that many times before," Laereth nodded and chuckled. They must have already been dipping into his stash of good wine, because they were acting extremely odd. He watched as Orophin turned quickly back around and stole a strawberry from the wooden bowl. Laereth did not catch it until he placed the red fruit in his mouth and had taken one bite of it. Orophin smiled down at her displeased expression, chewing quickly before placing the rest of the berry into his mouth.

Haldir decided to interrupt what ever was going on between them for a moment, and asked, "Where is Cuileth?"

"The rest of our party arrived… I imagine that Failo was in desperate need of a bath, so that is probably where she remains," Laereth replied, turning back to the mixing of the dough.

Orophin raised a curious brow, "Failo would not happen to be her husband, would it?"

Laereth rolled her eyes, "Nay, that is her son. Though I am sure her husband Tinion is also in need of a bath as well... but that is for a later occasion."

"Failo, eh?" Orophin questioned.

"Aye, and I am warning you now to be on your best behavior," she said, glancing up at Orophin.

Orophin grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, "What am I? An Elfling?"

"That is yet to be determined," she said and laughed.

Haldir watched the interplay with them for a few moments, realizing that even though many years had passed, their relationship had not changed in the least. Except now Orophin was older and Haldir was not too sure what that could mean between them romantically since they appeared to have such a comfortable, friendly relationship with one another. And then Orophin did something that Haldir had not prepared himself to witness. Orophin grabbed a hold of her waist, and bent her back, planting his lips squarely on her hers. The rage rose within him like an unstoppable eruption and he felt a sudden need to remove his brother of his head, or something equally important.

So involved in his own fury was he, that he barely noticed Laereth squirming desperately to try to get away from him. She pushed at Orophin's shoulders, and pounded with her fist, though it appeared to be halfhearted. But Orophin pulled back and righted her on her feet. Laereth still in complete shock of what had happened, stumbled back a step and placed a hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

"Do you know any Elfling who can kiss like that?" Orophin questioned, satisfied with himself.

"I do not know many grown Elves who can kiss like that," she replied breathlessly. Haldir could not take it any more and went for his chambers and slammed the door shut. Oh what a lovely day this was!

* * *

"Thank you Orophin," Laereth grumbled. "Now the rest of the evening will be completely unbearable because of you." 

Orophin scoffed at the idea, "He cannot blame me for feeling the intense urge to kiss you. It is his fault he has not done it already."

She grew quiet, "We are still on that tangent?"

Orophin shook his head and left her side, walking toward the sitting area to sit down and relax. They remained quiet for the rest of the time between then and when Rúmil showed up after getting cleaned up. Haldir came out soon after, though he made sure to stay a good distance away from his brothers by sitting the large chair across the room from them, glaring at them every so often. That made her wonder what had happened with Rúmil that he was so displeased about.

She was unable to flesh out this idea, though, as there came a knock at the door and Cuileth entered, followed by Bainon, but no Tinion and Failo. Bainon glanced around the room quickly, and joined her first. Laereth hugged him, placing a kiss on his cheek, "Did you leave the other two with a band of fell beasts?"

Bainon chuckled, "Nay… Cuileth left Tinion with an unruly Failo. So I suppose we left Tinion with a fell beast."

Laereth smiled, "At least you made the journey safely… and quickly. Only a day more than us."

"It was easy," Bainon said. "We strapped the Elfling onto the back of a horse and told him to hang on for his life."

"You probably traumatized him," Laereth said.

Bainon left her then to greet the others in the room, and was followed by quickly paced light footfalls outside the door of the talan. She glanced up to find her ten year old nephew barely through the door as fast as his short legs could carry him. Bringing up the rear was his exasperated father. Failo paused and looked around the room a few moments, a moment of worry spreading over his face with all of the large Elves in the room. She was a full grown elleth, and to be in the room with all of these rather imposing, large Elves was somewhat scary in itself.

And they certainly were large, robust, fine exemplars of their kind.

"Aunt Laereth!"

She turned then as Failo ran to her, and bent down to pick him up. She stood up, placing a kiss upon his cheek and smiling, "Did you have fun with Bainon and your father?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded his head quickly. "We saw the biggest spider in all Arda on the way out of Mirkwood. It was black and hairier than the ones I have seen before."

"Really?" she asked, feigning her enthusiasm for the story. Failo could really tell stories.

Tinion came to her then, leaning over and kissing her cheek, "He could not wait to tell you about his adventure with the spider, especially after you wrote that story and gave it to him."

"I figured that much," she smiled and set Failo on the ground. The child ran toward Cuileth then, and began the introduction process to Haldir, Orophin and Rúmil. She turned back to Tinion, "So are you happy to be back in Lórien?"

"I am very happy to be back. As of right now, I am leaning toward moving here, especially with the troubles from Dol Guldur picking up in forest," he nodded. "But the question is if you will remain."

"That is yet to be decided," she replied quietly, knowing that Cuileth and her large mouth often got away with her when she was speaking of things such as Haldir and his relationship with her.

Tinion smiled softly, "He is fool then."

"Do not say that now. Let us have a peaceful dinner," Laereth replied.

Luckily, it ended up being a pleasant meal for all. Even Haldir had put on a pleasant face, especially after Failo started questioning relentlessly about being March Warden. It was apparent the Haldir liked to talk about his position a great amount, and even the slightest mention of it made him happy. Once the meal was finished, the ellyn cleaned up the mess while Failo continued to quiz Haldir on other things before turning to Orophin and Rúmil. Then they all gathered about the large fire to talk while Haldir graciously entertained Failo with a game of strategy and concentration.

"Check," Failo said.

Laereth quickly glanced over at the dueling Elves, not believing that Failo was actually winning at the game Haldir dominated because of his keen abilities to strategize a battle with multiple people making different moves. But she chose the wrong time to listen in to their conversation. Failo said, "My aunt says that you do not like to lose."

Haldir let out a slight chuckle, "I do not like to lose."

"She says that is one of your faults," Failo continued.

Laereth thought to try to silence Failo, but knew it would only end up embarrassing her. So she watched and listened as Haldir smiled brightly, and glanced quickly at her. However, what was meant to be a quick look, turned into a lingering gaze at her from across the room. She tried to pull her eyes away from him, but she could not as he held her in one place with his piercing look.

"What else has she told you about me?" Haldir questioned, still gazing at her.

Failo glanced up then, and leaned over to whisper into Haldir's ear something she was sure would only embarrass her in the long run. A devilish smile crossed Haldir's features then, his eyes never leaving her. Haldir nodded and chuckled as Failo moved back into place, and he, with one easy move, checkmated Failo's king. The Elfling then tried to talk him into another game, but Haldir refused and stood up to stretch his legs from the cramped position they had been in.

The instant Failo yawned, Cuileth and Tinion excused themselves, which was then followed by Bainon taking his leave. She was once again left with her other three 'brothers'. The conversation was nice, but Haldir stayed out of it most of the time, sitting and looking at her as though trying to figure something out. It grew unnerving after a while, so she bade her farewells and left the talan to take a refreshing walk about the city. That was not until much later when something dropped out of the trees and landed in front of her.

She jumped back quickly, grabbing at her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart. And the instant she recognized it was Haldir, she smacked him, "How dare you do that to me! You better not do that to every elleth in this city in the late hours of the evening."

"I do not," he laughed.

"Good," she said, letting out a long breath.

Haldir smiled, and offered his arm, "May I escort you to the gardens, my lady?"

"I did not know I was looking for the gardens," she replied.

"You are now," he said, waiting for her to take him up on his offer.

They walked for awhile in silence, though she could not mistake that there was an odd air about them being with each other now. He took her to a stone bench near the small fountain in the garden, and they sat listening to the sounds of the evening about them. That was until he turned to her, "Tinion is a wonderful ellon, I am happy for Cuileth. And Failo is quite the character."

"They have a wonderful family," Laereth replied.

"Failo idolizes you," he said.

"That is only because I inspire his fantasies," she said and fixed her eyes on Haldir.

Haldir chuckled and looked down at his hands for a brief moment, "Inspiring the fantasies of an ellon is not necessarily considered a bad thing."

Laereth pushed him playfully and let out a nervous laugh, "You think so?"

"I know it is not a bad thing, because I fantasize about elleth, and I do no wrong," he replied with wicked grin.

"As each day goes by the more and more conceited you become," she said.

"That is funny," Haldir said and looked up at her again. "Because I get a somewhat contrasting story from Failo."

"What did he tell you?"

"That you think I am a wonderful ellon," he replied.

Laereth nodded, "And what he said was true, but you are still arrogant."

"So you do not think I am a horrible Elf?"

"When in our past have I ever said or alluded to the fact that I think you are a horrible ellon?" she questioned, in a slightly offended manner. Haldir narrowed his eyes at her, and she sighed. "Besides when I am angry with you."

"Then never," he replied.

Laereth smiled, "See?"

He laughed and looked away from her, again looking down at his hands, "You truly think that?"

"Aye, I do," she nodded. "Any elleth would be lucky to have you, and any elleth who only sees the title and the few moments of fun thy may have with you does not deserve you."

"We are back on this again, are we?" he raised a questioning brow and let out a low chuckle.

"I will stop… I do not want to argue with anymore. It seems that is all we are good at with each other," she replied.

"I do not know about that," Haldir said quietly, meeting her eyes. "We are pretty good at making each other laugh, especially after such incidents as swimming in Lord Amroth's private pool."

She rolled her eyes, "I think you got more pleasure out of that than I did."

"And you would probably be right," he laughed and sighed. "You know, as much as it pains me to say this, I think that we are perfect equals to each other, that's why it is so easy to argue and then find common ground after a good go at it."

"What do you want from me that you are trying your hardest to be overly kind to me?" she jested. And he gave her a serious look.

Their gazes locked, and she was literally blown away by the look in his eyes. It was evident there was much more there than the friendly ardor that they had only just been speaking of, but he was unwilling to say what was on his mind aloud. Despite that, though, she found herself trying to keep an even breathing pattern, but as he stared her down, it nearly became impossible to breathe at all. So she did all she could think of doing, and that was to stand up quickly and walk away from him. Laereth stopped by the fountain and turned her head slightly to him, but did not look at him.

He stood quickly and followed her, placing his large hands upon her shoulders, "Laereth, please…"

"Please what, Haldir?" she questioned. "I am not like the other ellyth."

"I know you are not," he said quietly, reaching around her waist and turning her easily to face him.

Laereth still did not meet his eyes, "You had your chance a long time ago, Haldir. Before I left, you had your chance to tell me that I was needed… in whatever capacity it was as friend or lover… but you did not. You told me that only Orophin and Rúmil would be hurt by me leaving. So I thought that since I meant so little to you, that it was best to go."

"You mean more to me than you could know, Laereth," he said.

"You have a funny way of showing it," she said.

"Think about who you are speaking to, Laereth. Have I ever really been that open with anyone?" he questioned. "You know I mask what I am really feeling with anger to push people away… it is the only way I can maintain no one will become close with me."

Laereth sighed, "I know that Haldir, but I knew you before you were like that. I suppose I always expected you to be like that. After our parents… after all of that…"

There was silence between them, and Haldir took her hands between his. He sighed heavily, "Laereth, you deserve to know the truth."

"The truth about what?"

"Everything," he said, and she glanced up at him. Haldir gazed down at her, "The way I acted toward you when you told me about leaving for Mirkwood was not from me not caring for you. It had everything to do with the fact that I cared so deeply about you… I do not know… It was just that you told me about leaving, and I instantly felt betrayed by you. I cared for you so deeply that it was like an arrow piercing my heart. You and I had promised to stay together for our siblings' benefit… you promised to stay with me and support me… but you left. You left just like _them_."

"Like your father and mother."

Laereth felt low. Very, very low. She never realized what an impact she had on him, because he had never really shown it, but with this admission of why he acted like he did, she could not help but feel like a horrible person for leaving him. Never had she thought of it this way… that she would be leaving him just as his parents had, to fend for himself and his brothers. Haldir never spoke to anyone about losing his parents because of the pain it caused him, and he had just taken and internalized it all those years and that was what made him view her leaving in such a way. Why had she not seen this before?

"How was I supposed to feel? I thought that you did not care for me as I did for you," he said. "The last thing in this world I loved was leaving me."

And the breath caught her throat again, as she looked up at him, "Haldir… I am sorry, though I think my apologies will mean little now."

"I do not want apologies, Laereth," he said quietly, reaching up and brushing some of her hair from her face. "It happened, I came to a place of acceptance and I have become stronger because of it. But that still does not replace the emptiness you left. When you were with me, everything was perfect."

Laereth took a breath, "Haldir, I have always loved you."

"I know," he said.

She waited for him to repeat the sentiment back to her, but he did not. There had to be something else he was not telling her. Something that he was not going to tell her for a long while… some reason why he still could not say those words to her. For now she would just have to live with the sense that he did love her, though she did not know to what extent it would end up being. Haldir leaned over her and place his lips to her hairline, and then to her brow before pulling back from her.

She pushed back from him, knowing she should go before she did something she would regret. "I should be going… Bainon will be wondering what happened to me."

"May I escort you back?" he questioned.

Laereth met his eyes, "Nay, I believe I can make it on my own."


	11. Is This Love?

A/N: Thank you reviewers!

Chapter 11- Is This Love?

Haldir had no idea what he had done the previous night, but he hoped that it had not made things worst between them. He personally felt as though things were a great deal better. With Laereth, however, there was no telling how she had taken the evening's conversation about her leaving Lórien the first time and of what he felt for her. All through the meal, and talking with her family, both by friendship and by blood, Haldir had watched her and how she interacted with everyone. He thought about all of their times together as young Elves, and how he had felt about her so many times, but had never really realized what exactly it was he was feeling. Years had passed, though, and with his ever growing wisdom came the realization that he was in love and there was no stepping around that. His dalliances with other maidens had cured him of his loneliness and not having Laereth for a time, but now the prospect of continuing on that path was not one he wished to think about.

He knew it was inevitable now… she deserved to at least hear the words that he felt. He loved her, he always had, but the promise to himself still weighed greatly in his mind. How could he ever fully commit himself to her with this predetermined vow? The very last person he wanted to hurt with the possibility of losing him was Laereth. Every single time he went out to the border, he would think of her and what could possibly happen while he was there. And what if they were to have children? What of his children? Would they experience the same fate that he and his brothers had? It just did not make any sense to him to commit to her with all of these unanswerable questions. He had always been very deliberate, doing only what he though best after getting answers to the questions before continuing.

But he could not do that with this instance.

He had to tell her he loved her, or he would surely combust from keeping it inside for so long.

Haldir walked along the paths of the city, and continued on to those on the outskirts, away from most anyone else who could bother him. He needed to clear his mind of all this, or at least completely come to terms with the fact that he was going to profess his love to her, and being away from others was the only way he could do that. Finding that he was growing tired of walking, he came to a deep stream that ran down a bit to a lake of clear, warm water. Balancing himself down on his haunches, he placed his hands in the water. It was warm for such a day, but he was happy for that because a quick swim would be exactly the thing he needed. His tunic was cast aside with his boots quickly, and he glanced around the forest, searching for any signs that someone would interrupt him. With a resigned sigh, he undid his leggings and swiftly jumped into the water.

Relaxation finally found him, as he swam beneath the water for a few moments and came up for air. But as he swam further downstream, he was overcome with the distinct feeling he was not alone. He looked around the forest again, but saw no one…

That was until he noticed Laereth sitting upon a flat rock, her skirts pulled up so that her legs could dangle in the water. She was scratching away busily at a book of parchment, completely unawares as to what was going on around her, or that there was a rather bare Elf within the water only a stone's throw away from her. Though, that thought made him worry, and even blush. His lack of clothing was something he was not usually ashamed of, but now caught within this predicament, he grew very embarrassed at his apparent nudity. Even the thought that they had often seen each other like this in their past was no conciliatory thing for his nervousness.

He knew not how he should approach her, though, and if she would be appalled by this. Luckily for him, he did not need to decide, as she placed her quill to the side, closed the cork in her ink bottle and turned to look in his direction as though she knew he had been there the entire time. Although her extremely noticeable blush told him she had not known he was there and watching her. Laereth quickly turned her eyes away from him, down at her book again, blowing on the ink before closing it.

"I will not look if you wish to leave now," she called out, her voice faltering slightly.

Haldir knew a laugh would not be the best thing for him to do, but he laughed nonetheless. She looked up at him quickly, meeting his eyes, and he let out a soft sigh. "Laereth, it is nothing to be nervous about."

"So you say," she replied. "It would be better for the both of us if you continued over to your clothes and dressed."

"Says who?" he questioned, knowing this was going where he did not wish to go… and that was towards another argument.

"Says I," Laereth said quietly, looking away from him.

Haldir moved through the water, to come closer to her. Perhaps he could make her uncomfortable, just to see what she would do about it. He stopped in front of her, and she noticing the arrival, quickly turned her head and did not lift her eyes. She made no attempt to divert her gaze as she stared down into the clear water, to which he found rather amusing. Haldir chuckled and placed a finger beneath her chin, to lift her eyes up to meet his. "Are you impressed?"

"I cannot believe you, Haldir," she said, closing her eyes. "You should be ashamed."

"I am hardly ashamed of my body," he replied and smiled evilly.

Laereth met his eyes and looked at him pointedly, "And if I were you, I would not be either, but to save yourself possible embarrassment, I would be."

Haldir chuckled, and was about to remark on her warning that he could become embarrassed, but was stopped by the sound of someone moving through the bushes. Then he heard the sound of calling out to her, a frantic, excited yelling of an Elfling. From the line of trees, came Failo barreling along the path, carrying an arrow out in front of him with a shoddy, but passable, fletching job. Laereth turned at the sounds and laughed as Failo ran to her, completely disregarding the fact that he was also there in the water. Deciding it best to step away from Laereth, to cut down on rumors that could be started, Haldir moved quickly down the stream to his clothes and quickly jumped out, pulling his leggings on.

By the time he had succeeded in that task, put his boots on and walked back over to them, Failo had reached her and shoved the arrow into her face. Listening a good distance away, he watched Laereth smile brightly and laugh at her nephew, "What have you got there?"

"Look what Orophin taught me to do today!" Failo said.

Haldir smiled to himself, remembering the day that Laereth had taken out the time to finally teach the eager Elfling Orophin how to fletch an arrow properly. It was the first day he really realized that his feelings were not so friendly anymore. And it was also the day they lost their fathers. The thought ran through his mind, and he could see the sadness in her eyes as well, as she also apparently recalled the day in her mind, but she masked it well.

"Do you know I taught Orophin all he knows about fletching arrows?" Laereth questioned, inspecting the arrow.

Orophin appeared from the line of trees then, a smile plastered upon his face as though he was a cat that caught the mouse. He was certainly quite pleased with himself, and Haldir instantly suspected this to be a ploy to try to woo Laereth into something that a sister and brother should not partake in. Haldir knew he was jumping to conclusions, but the thought remained foremost in his mind, knowing that if he did not make a move soon, his brothers, or some other 'evil' ellon, like Arphenon, would make their move on her. Orophin did not see him there, and continued over to the elleth and Elfling.

Laereth looked up at Orophin and smiled, "I believe you are an able-bodied teacher, Orophin."

"Well, I did learn from the best," he said.

Failo then proclaimed excitedly, "I want to be a warden!"

Laereth chuckled, and reached over to the Elfling to take a twig from his hair, "It is an honorable post, Failo, especially with the new March Warden leading now."

"I want to be March Warden as well! Like Haldir," Failo said.

Haldir had to laugh at the young child with such big aspirations. And he had to remind himself that had once been him, and if the Elfling truly wished it, he could probably make that happen. He sighed then, and secured his tunic about his body after wringing his hair out.

Laereth and Orophin both laughed, and the elleth smirked in his direction. Haldir met her eyes, and found himself deeply rooted into place. She had never looked at him like that before. It was a gaze of complete and utter admiration and ardor. Laereth turned back to Failo, "I think you will have to discuss that with Haldir, Failo. He will not abandon his post easily. But I think he will be happy to personally see to your training since your mother and father have decided to stay here."

Did that mean that since Tinion and Cuileth were to stay in Lórien, that Laereth would also? Perhaps he would not have to make a commitment to Laereth if she was going to stay. He knew, though, that was wrong of him to even think. To keep himself sane, he had to tell her… he had to _really _kiss her.

He had to make love to her.

Probably as his wife.

The thought caused a shiver to run up his spine, but he disregarded it, and joined the others. Haldir noted the slight look of annoyance Orophin shot his way, but the younger brother only smiled knowingly and turned to Failo, saying, "Your mother made me promise to return you in a timely manner, Failo. Let us leave your aunt and the foolish March Warden to their own devices."

Failo nodded his head vigorously and took off running in the direction of the city. Orophin stayed behind and looked over the both of them. "And it would suit you both well to just kiss each other and call it a day. I am incredibly weary of this game of cat and mouse you two have played since we were young."

With that, Orophin left quickly, leaving Haldir and Laereth stunned by his words. Laereth was the first to turn her gaze away from the path Orophin had taken, to gaze upon him thoughtfully. "He makes a good point, but I know not how you love me, because I fear my love is different than your love."

He slowly turned his head to the side, meeting her grey eyes and watched her for a few long moments. Now was the time. He squatted down, facing her, "I should have done this last eve, even though I cannot believe I told you what I did last eve. I had not intended…"

"Just tell me, Haldir," she said quietly.

"I love you, Laereth. I always have. I have wanted to have you to wake up to and come home to when I have been on the borders. I have wanted to have a family with you… we made such a good family with our siblings, I could only imagine how wonderful it would be to have our own children… and really have you as my wife…"

"But?" she questioned. "There is always something else."

"When our fathers died, and our mothers left, I made a vow to myself that I would not bind with another. I would not be responsible for the pain my brothers, myself or my mother had to live through to my own family. And least of all, I would want to do that to an elleth I truly loved… you, Laereth." Haldir said, feeling as though he were really pouring his heart out. He paused, trying to read her eyes, but they were unemotional until finally they watered and she struggled to keep her tears at bay.

Laereth let out a long sigh, "All of these years was because of that, Haldir?"

Haldir nodded, "Aye."

She laughed ruefully, "And I thought it was because I had never lived up to your dreams of an elleth."

"Laereth," he took a breath, and reached up to cup her cheek. "You know you are more perfect, especially for me, than I could ever wish for."

"I do not know that Haldir, though I feel that you are perfect for me," she said quietly, placing her hand on his hand upon her cheek. "This was all because of your father dying?"

"Aye," he said.

"Haldir, you cannot possibly think that something like that could have been prevented. It was our fathers' paths in life to take. They loved their Wood, they loved their positions, and it was those positions that brought them together as friends. It was their friendship that brought us together Haldir. What was meant to happen did, and perhaps without it, we would have never had the experiences we had together after all of the grief. Think of all the times we stayed up late laughing over something Rúmil had done, or talking about the new task Orophin had learned. Or the times you held me and I cried because I too missed my father and mother. Or the nights we would fall asleep in each others arms by the fire, because it was lonely by ourselves." Laereth said. "None of that would have happened if our fathers had not gone."

Haldir took in what she was saying, and knew that what she was saying was extremely correct. Perhaps it was the lot in life to bring them together. Perhaps their life together had a reason beyond their own knowledge. "But Laereth, I do not want to hurt you if something were to go ill on the borders or elsewhere. I am March Warden, and I would make sure I was hurt before any of my wardens fell. I love my vocation just as much as I love you."

"I know that Haldir… I know," she said and smiled tenderly, turned her head slightly to place a kiss to the inside of his wrist. The feeling of an intense warmth moved up his arm from that contact. "I would expect nothing less from you, my March Warden of Lothlórien."

"You do not care of what could happen?"

"Of course I care, and I would worry about you all the time you are gone," she replied. "But if you were meant to pass to the Halls, then I can accept that. It is the only thing I can do, Haldir. I would not try to take you away from your first love, when I want to be your second love so badly."

He smiled, and pulled her to her feet, taking her into his arms. Without giving her a moment to prepare, he kissed her squarely upon her lips, make sure to give as much of himself as he could through this embrace. When he released her lips, she gasped for air and let out a soft laugh. Mission accomplished. He sighed, "You are my first love, Laereth. Being March Warden comes at a very distant second."

"I know that is not true, but I enjoy hearing it," she said quietly.

"If you truly wished it, I would give up the title. Perhaps Failo would want it," he remarked. Laereth giggled and sighed. He kissed her again, this time, starting as politely as he could with a soft brush of his lips. And he need not continue as she moved her hands from his shoulders up around his neck and entwined them in his hair to pull him back to her.

When she was finally ready for more air, she pulled back, "I did not think it was so possible, Haldir… to find an Elf who could kiss better than your brother."

Haldir sighed, and that brought the glaring realization to his mind that perhaps Orophin would be unhappy with this. "It is so good because it is meant to be between us… but what of Orophin? Has he spoken of trying to court you?"

"The kiss yesterday was only to make you jealous," she replied. "I was told that Rúmil was going to do it some other time, in front of you. But I do not know if I would like to be kissed by him. He was rather sloppy as a babe."

He laughed, "I think the ellyth of Lórien would agree he has gotten much better."

"I am sure he has," Laereth replied. "Perhaps I should test that, though it would seem I have a jealous lover."

"It would seem? I thought you knew me and my jealousy," he said with a smile.

"It has been many years," she said. "My memories will come back to me eventually, Haldir."

He leaned over her and kissed her lightly, "I hope so, because I sincerely hope I did not pour my entire heart out to you only to be snubbed later on."

Laereth ran her fingers along his jaw line, and the up around the shell of his ear, stopping at the point, and caressing it carefully. "You will never be snubbed by me… though I would like to know what this means for us now. Am I to be courted, or are we to see to other, more serious things?"

His mind was nearly rendered useless by the slight caresses she was doing to his ears, as his body was taken completely over by the urge for flesh. "I propose a meal this eve, where we two shall be the main participants, and that no one else knows about. We will discuss it then."

"I shall count every moment until then, Haldir," she replied with a smile. "When should I have the meal prepared?"

He smiled and shook his head, "I shall cook, and you may arrive whenever you wish."

Laereth nodded, stepping back from him with a devious look on her face, "I will not miss it."

She bent down and retrieved her writing utensils. Without saying another word, she left him standing by the stream as she walked off toward the city. Oddly enough, he was happy he finally told her, and that she had accepted his worries so well. He was even more surprised just how she had rationalized it in such ways he had never really thought of. He was more than overjoyed to have her support, forever his number one believer in his dreams.

He only hoped he could balanced his duties with those of possibly having a new wife… and that his decision to bind with another would not come at too high a price to said wife and children should he pass to the Halls.


	12. Trolling For Maidens

_A/N: Thank you reviewers! Would still love to hear from more of you!_

Chapter 12- Trolling For Maidens

Her mind reeled, in utter disbelief that Haldir had actually said it. She was in even more disbelief that he actually did love her in the way that she had hoped he did for so long now. He really loved her? Had he really kissed her like that? Had he really overcome his hard-headedness and pride to tell her the whole truth? All of this had been the last thing she had expected to happen not even a day after Haldir had just explained to her why he had acted as he did when she left. Despite her disbelief, though, she could not help but become so excited over the fact that she was going to his talan, with the promises of things to come that she had only wished for all of her life.

She stood in front of his door and adjusted the gown on her shoulders. Lifting her hand to knock lightly on the wood, Haldir was already there opening up the door. "I hated when you did that when we were young, and I still do."

He laughed, "I know that."

"Then why do you do it?" she questioned.

"Because I can," he replied quietly, stepping back and motioning for her to enter the talan. She stepped in, and glanced quickly around the room as the warmth from the fire enveloped her. "You act as though you have never been here before."

Laereth smiled sheepishly and blushed timidly, "You see, ever since this afternoon, I have been trying to make sense of this all. You have never ever changed your mind so quickly over such an important matter. Actually, you never change your mind after you have made your decision. I keep waiting for someone to come wake me and tell me it is all a dream… and I am looking for things that may be out of place so that I may know if it is a dream and…"

While she was rambling on, he slunk his way over to and placed his arms around her, holding her still. When she had finally gotten to a point where she needed to pause in her talking, he leaned down and kissed her lightly. He pulled away, and she opened her eyes to meet his still close to hers. He said, "Is this a dream?"

"I know not," she said. "But if it is, then it is quite possibly the best dream I have ever had."

He smiled and left her standing alone as he walked over the a decanter of red wine sitting on a side table and poured two goblets. She watched him make precise movements about; every move he made was deliberate and graceful. Even with his clothes on, she could see the flexing and flattening of even the finest, most minutes muscle beneath the fabric. Such a picture of perfection was he, despite his rather arrogant, often cynical, manner. He walked back over to her, and handed her a goblet. She took it from his hand and placed the rim to her lips, taking a long sip of it. Hopefully it would calm her nerves.

"I would be careful, Laereth," he said with a smile. "That is some of the wine Thranduil brought with his last visit. While it does not seem strong drinking it, it leaves quite an after affect."

Laereth chuckled, "And how quickly you forget I have lived in Mirkwood for many years now… I have built up a tolerance to it, though it is a small tolerance."

Haldir raised a curious brow, "A tolerance means you drank it often, and I know that Thranduil is very specific about those who have access to the Dorwinion wine. I did not think that bards were that highly thought of in Thranduil's kingdom."

She smiled mischievously, and walked around a large chair toward the cushion-covered chaise. As gracefully as she could manage, she slipped down into the seat and looked back at him, "You just need to know the right people."

"And who would those people be?" he questioned. "A lover?"

"Perhaps," she said, taking another sip of her wine and placed the goblet on the table beside her.

"Perhaps?" he said, sitting beside her. "Who was this Elf who could talk you into such things?"

Laereth met his eyes, watching the reflection of the fire flicker within the grey for a long time. She smiled softly and looked away, "It was no lover, Haldir. Only a very good friend by the name of Legolas."

"So you were close with the princeling," he said quietly, almost disappointedly, as he turned his eyes away from her.

She sighed, and reached over to turn his head toward her, "I do not think it is fair that you have had your fill of maidens, and at the first sign of a possibly close relationship I have with another, you become jealous."

Haldir took a breath, "I have always been jealous of the ellyn who so much as speak with you. It only took me two millennia to realize that the intense love I have for you was the cause of it, and then have come to such a point that I could not hold it in any longer."

"I know," she nodded.

"And I fear that I could never live up to someone like Legolas… I have met him before, you know," he said. "I see how he acts around other ellyth."

She leaned over and placed her lips to his before moving away, "You have nothing to worry about, Haldir. As I said before, there have only been a few prospects, and Legolas is certainly not one of them. He and Bainon are friends because they are both high-ranking captains in Mirkwood, so he spent a great deal of time at Bainon's and also with me when he was not out patrolling."

After a few moments of listening and watching the fire crackle, she turned back to him, "There was many a time he kept refilling my glass with this wine, and I ended up becoming quite knackered. I think he found it quite funny, but he always made sure I did not do anything brainless afterwards."

"A drinking friend?" he questioned with an amused smile. "Laereth, I could never imagine you doing _that_."

"You could not?" she laughed, knowing quite well that he was being sarcastic.

"But these other prospects you speak of…" he began.

Laereth sighed, "I know not what exactly you are trying to get at… but no. I have had no serious relationship with them. Only a little innocent banter and courting. I could never see them as a mate because I compared them to you all the time."

"Aye, my boots are hard to fill," Haldir replied, leaning over quickly to kiss her. He was off the chaise before the comment registered with her, and retrieving a covered platter of food. He balanced it carefully in his hands as he came back over to the chaise and set the food on the low table in front of it. She surveyed the tray, finding an assortment of cured meats, breads, cheeses and small fruits. He really was good at trying to woo an elleth, and putting such an aesthetically pleasing meal together was perfect for that.

Their meal commenced slowly, but in a state of complete ease. She had never really felt this way with another ellon before, even with Haldir long ago. It was so easy to converse with him… tell him everything he wanted to know, as he did the same for her. And even with all their years together, they had never really shared this strong a connection with each other. But now that they had both admitted their foolishness to each other, it seemed to open up a gateway of affections and feelings for each other that had so long been oppressed. She was so overjoyed for that… that she had not wasted so many years on something that would never, or could never, be between them.

She watched as he plucked a small red berry from the tray, "Have you tried strawberry with the wine?"

"I have not," she smiled and knew his next move before he even tried it.

"They say that the berry compliments it rather well," he said, offering her the strawberry.

Laereth chuckled, and gave him an amused, but bashful look, as he moved it closer to her mouth. She took a good-sized and yet still delicate bite, chewing on it thoughtfully as he stuck the rest into his mouth. Waiting to see what next he had planned, she was slightly disappointed when he sipped his wine and looked back at her curiously.

"You did not take a sip of your wine," he remarked.

Perhaps he was waiting for her, testing her to see just how bold she really was. And the wine she had consumed up until that point had made her just bold enough, "There is another way that I wish to sample the wine."

He raised a dark brow in question and gave her a lopsided, pleased grin. She smiled slightly, though she could not hold it as he inched slowly toward her, and captured her lips with his. He moved his lips slowly and methodically against hers, before running his tongue lightly on her lower lip and she accepted the intrusion gladly. Laereth found it quite startling that he would, in a sense, ask for permission to deepen the exchange between them. Usually he would just take what he wanted and be done with it, but it almost felt as though he was timid in trying such a thing. To say that she was not slightly nervous about this night would be a lie, but she was not about to ask his permission to try anything… she had waited too long to feel his lips pressed against hers in this wonderfully spine tingling fashion.

And for his hands to be roam freely about her body.

Like they were doing a quite sufficient job of now.

She sighed against him, turning more towards him and venturing a hand up his thigh. He tensed quickly at the unexpected place her hand had landed, but relaxed just as quickly as he smiled against her mouth. Maneuvering himself gracefully in his seat, he pushed her back against the chaise, resting himself cautiously over her. Laereth removed her hand from his thigh and brought both of them to support herself as she was being pushed back, by wrapping her hands about his neck. His hands, that had previously been concentrated on tracing the neckline of her gown, slipped lower to cup her breasts. Even through the fabric of the gown, she felt as though his skin was touching her skin, as though their connection was really that remarkably strong.

And then, just as quickly as he laid her back, and enveloped her with this long string of kisses… or one continuous kiss… he pulled back and looked down at her. She grew worried for a moment at his perplexed expression. "What is it Haldir?"

"You said you had no serious relationship with the ellyn who courted you," he said.

"If I were to ask what that meant…"

She smiled, "I thought it would be pretty simple to understand, but nay… I have not yet known fully the interaction between ellon and elleth. There have been plenty of experimental things, but I have always stopped it after simple things such as this."

He gave her a serious look, and lowered his head to kiss her lightly. Again he pulled back, reaching up to brush back a piece of her hair that had fallen into her face. Haldir smiled tenderly, "In that case, we may wait if you wish. That could be quite painful."

"I have lived long Haldir, I know of the stories and I am certainly not worried with you," she said. "You are an adequate teacher."

"I am only adequate?" he questioned, feigning his hurt.

"Well, we shall see if you are better at teaching this than teaching one to fight with a sword," she replied.

Haldir scoffed, "You know this is not the way to make an ellon feel like making love to you."

Laereth giggled and ran a finger along his jaw line, "But you forget, meleth, I know your mind like I know my own. You cannot resist a challenge, especially one that involves two of your favorite things in the world. You will try your hardest now to prove me wrong."

"How well you do know me," he said lowly, placing his lips to her neck, raining kisses down to her chest. He returned to her lips and kissed her passionately.

"And I can tell by the feel of things," she replied, making sure to run her hands down in the small space left between bodies to brush his excitement through his leggings, "that you are not the least bit offended."

He grabbed her hand away from him, and also the other, to pin them down over head. "Let me pleasure you this night, Laereth… as much as I can anyway with this task set before me."

"I would not stand for that," she said.

Haldir laughed, "Nay, you will be on the flat of your back the entire time."

She rolled her eyes, "I will not tolerate that."

"Aye, my lady," he replied. "But there is one thing I would ask of you in return for my selfless acts this night."

"And what would that be?"

"As we couple, I ask that we couple as two Elves binding their lives one to the other," he said.

Laereth felt the air catch in her throat, and she met his eyes, holding his gaze for a long while to try to discern if he truly wished this. "Haldir, so soon?"

"If I do not do it now, I know that I will be dim-witted later on and push you away from me again," Haldir said.

"But I do not wish for you to regret it in the morning light," she replied.

"I would not regret it, Laereth," he said. "Never would I regret this with you… I only worry that I will talk myself back into my original vow that I would never bind. I do not want to hurt you like my mother was hurt; I love you dearly and that will never change."

Laereth smiled softly, "I already told you earlier this day that as I accept you as my lover, I accept everything you are and hold dear to your heart."

"Even my brothers?" he questioned, with a resigned sigh.

She giggled, "This reminds me of the day we came to an agreement on me helping you with them while you pursued your warden training."

"It is much like that, but now we can call it what it really was so long ago without the joining of our fëar and our bodies," Haldir said. "We can properly call it a marriage… and have children of our own someday."

Laereth nodded and, lifted her head to reach his lips. She said, "We were foolish then. We were both of age then… that was when we were meant to do this."

Haldir chuckled, "Better now than never."

"As much as it pains me to say this, I agree," she said with a smile.

He leaned down and engaged her in yet another long kiss, but he stopped in the midst of a second one, and tensed slightly. She wondered what was wrong, but the rather obnoxious singing found her ears as well. Haldir grumbled to himself, resting his forehead to her chest, obviously trying to find some calm before the singers reached the door.

"They are no better than they were as Elflings," he groaned. "Except now they live by themselves and like to celebrate for no reason at all."

Laereth smoothed his hair out and she giggled at him. The knock came then, the singing stopped and Haldir removed himself from her, straightening his tunic. She sat up as well, reaching over for her wine to take a long sip of the potent liquid. Haldir took a breath before pulling the door back. Rúmil was the first to speak, "Haldir! Good evening."

She laughed at the obvious slur to his voice, and listened at Orophin continued, "Come join us, Brother."

"It is obvious you are drinking, but what else could possibly be so important that I need to join you?" Haldir questioned.

"We are trolling for maidens," Rúmil replied.

Haldir shook his head, "You two are reprehensible. I thought you were trying to bring Laereth and I together."

"We are," Rúmil said.

And Orophin continued, "We decided to take the fight to her doorstep, by making her jealous of the other ellyth."

Laereth scoffed to herself and began to stand from her spot, but Haldir motioned with his hand behind his back for her to stay sitting. "I do not want to go with you two."

"Since when?" Orophin questioned, sounding slightly offended, even through his obvious inebriation.

"Since this night," Haldir replied.

Rúmil grunted, "Fine then, we will tell Laereth about all those notes you wrote to her but never sent."

Then there was complete silence between them. Laereth had certainly never heard of these notes, and wondered what was in them, but that did not matter to her right now. Haldir sighed heavily and hung his head. She decided then that Haldir had spent too long toying his brothers and stood up from the chaise, and walked over to wrap an arm about Haldir's waist, and grabbed a hold of the door.

"The March Warden is busy this eve, my brothers," she said, seeing the looks of shock on their faces, though she was sure the full gravity of the situation had not occurred to them yet. "Go find your own merriment and come back in the morning for the morning meal."

With that, she shut the door in their stunned faces. Haldir laughed at her, bending down to place a kiss to her lips, "I think I might just keep you around, Laereth. Especially if you can brush those two off that easily."

Laereth laughed, "Haldir, I do not think you quite understand how long I have waited for this. Do not make me wait any longer."

"Aye, my lady," he replied.

She smiled, "Now, I have not yet seen the March Warden's bed chamber… perhaps you would care to show me?"


	13. Two Drunken Brothers

A/N: I would like to apologize over the sloppiness in the last chapter in my grammar/ spelling areas. I have the original, unchanged copy saved to my hard drive, and then the beta-ed, pretty one. I accidentally hit the wrong button when uploading and failed to recognize it before it posted.

Oh, and thank you reviewers!

Chapter 13- Two Drunken Brothers

It could not have happened. It just could not have. Not this quickly after her return. Not after the way he had acted only the day before on the practice field with his reluctance in a romance with Laereth. Did she call them her brothers? Sure, she often did that, but there was something different about the way she had said it then. But he had to stop, because with the combination of the alcohol and this intense thinking, his mind was whirling about and making him woozy.

"I must be extremely inebriated," Rúmil said, glancing at his older brother, who still had wide eyes.

Orophin turned to him, "Why is that?"

"Because I thought I just saw Laereth, with her arm about Haldir, and shutting the door in our faces," he replied.

"So did I," Orophin said.

Rúmil paused, desperately trying to connect this all in his muddled head, but it was not working sufficiently enough. "They way she called us brothers…"

"He would not bind with her, Rúmil. Are you really that intoxicated?" Orophin questioned. "Haldir would never give into any vow he ever made to himself, even if he truly was in love."

"I know, but we just saw it," Rúmil motioned toward the door.

Orophin sighed, "Maybe they were just jesting with us? They did that often when we were little, and have done it a few times since she has come back. She probably only did that because of what we were saying to Haldir."

Rúmil felt the blood drain from his face at that moment, and gulped down air, "Orophin… do you realize what that means? She know about the notes…"

"Rhach!" Orophin replied. "Haldir will give us a year on the borders for sure."

"Do not be overly dramatic," Rúmil said, though he knew it was no use. They were both too tipsy to think straight and act normally. That was when he decided that perhaps alcohol was not the best thing to have in your body when one wanted to think with a clear mind.

"He will, Rúmil," Orophin said, beginning a slightly staggering walk to the stairs away from Haldir's talan.

He sighed, "What if they really are doing what we want them to do?"

Orophin shook his head, "Haldir would have spoken to us first if he had planned on that. After all, this is a rather large step for them."

"But…" Rúmil began, but paused. He stopped in his walk beside Orophin, and looked around them, smiling evilly to himself. Hopping onto the branch beside him, he teetered precariously for a few seconds, trying to maintain his balance.

"Where are you going?" Orophin questioned. "You cannot climb trees in your state, Brother."

"Watch me," he remarked, jumping into another high branch. He walked across this, long thick branch, back in the direction of Haldir's talan.

Orophin quickly followed after him, "Rúmil, he _will_ give us a years duty if we do this."

Rúmil turned to him, "Then do not follow me. I will go by myself."

"He will give me border duty for a year, even then! He will say, 'And why did you not stop your younger brother from doing that?'. Really, Rúmil, you know him," Orophin replied, loosing a bit of his footing on the tree.

"We chose the wrong night to drink," Rúmil chuckled, and did not stop laughing. Clenching his stomach, he turned away from Orophin in an attempt to calm himself. Of course it did not work, until he felt a hard slap on the back of his head. That sobered him to a point.

"Be quiet, you good for nothing orc," Orophin hissed. "Or he will come out and find us."

The younger brother chuckled again and shook his head. He had absolutely no worries that Orophin would not follow him. Since they were so close in age, it always leant to their closeness as brothers, and some could even mistake them as a tightly bonded pair of twins if they did not know them. What one did, so did the other, but it was usually Orophin trying to talk sense into him from doing anything too horribly crazy or wrong.

Slowly, but surely, the two brothers made a wide berth around the talan, hopping from tree to tree. Finally at a good vantage point of the master's chambers, Orophin stopped and slumped against the bole of the tree. Rúmil glanced around, making sure they were as invisible as they could manage up here in the trees, just in case some Elf were to come walking by. With a final sigh, Rúmil sat beside his brother looked toward the talan.

"He had to close the drapes," Rúmil grumbled to himself.

Orophin scoffed, "I am glad he did, if they are doing what you think they are. While there may be some delight in seeing Laereth's bared flesh, I know I would not like to see Haldir's in that capacity. Swimming about or bathing in the bathing pool is one thing, but watching him do that…"

The image flooded Rúmil's mind, and he felt a strange sort of shiver run up his back. "That would truly be a disturbing sight."

The younger brother closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree, listening to the night around them. And sure enough, from the open doorway that led out onto the balcony of the talan, the sound of heavy breathing and moaning could be heard. He glanced at Orophin, "Now, do you believe it?"

"They could still be jesting us," Orophin replied.

"I do not think so," Rúmil said.

"Nay, neither do I," Orophin said. "But even if they are, I do not think they would be doing it to bind. It is too soon for Haldir to come to that decision."

"Or perhaps it has been far too long a wait?" Rúmil questioned, gazing back toward the talan. Just faintly, by the light of the silvery moon, could he make out the shape of two coupling bodies through the thin drapes. He smiled to himself. Finally. Though it was a sobering thought to think that in the morning, their brother would be bound to another for eternity. They would have children… their own life and family together. What room would there be left for him and Orophin? Would Haldir still want his sometimes obnoxious brothers around?

Orophin sighed, "What has made you so dour all of a sudden?"

Rúmil glanced at Orophin, and sighed, shaking his head, "It is nothing."

"We will find some maidens eventually, Rúmil," Orophin said and chuckled.

Deciding not to confirm or deny what Orophin thought had made him so serious all of a sudden, Rúmil looked away. They listened for a bit more, the vocalizations of passion growing slightly louder, but still they had to strain to hear it. And then they heard the words uttered that they did not think would be uttered for the longest of times. Those were the names of Eru and the Valier Manwë and Varda. They were speaking lowly of promises of love to each other, committing themselves to each other, becoming one fëa, instead two fear, as two hroa became one hroa.

He wanted to jump up and dance in happiness in one part of his heart, but in the other part reminded him of his insecurities with this binding. The completely unforeseen ones that he had not thought would come with a joyous occasion such as this one. It was not worth thinking about now… not when he was still a great deal inebriated, so he sighed and turned to Orophin. "I think we should leave them to it."

Orophin nodded a reply, standing up after Rúmil. And again, they made their ways through the trees to a walkway. Though, instead of going trolling like they had planned, each brother went to their separate telain to prepare for the next morning and welcoming their sister.

* * *

He woke to the fading moonlight and the feeling of a delicate hand brushing lightly across his chest. The hand to match the other rested upon his shoulder, supporting the head of the hands' owner. Haldir turned his head to gaze at her, finding her awake and watching him. He smiled. Had they really just bound one to the other this night? Were they really husband and wife? Had he experienced the pleasure beyond pleasures, taking her maidenhood, and as their fear intermingled with each other? It did not seem remotely possible to him, but he had lived long enough in the world to know that often times the most outrageous things were often true.

"Good morning," she said quietly, leaning over to kiss him.

Her bare breasts brushed against his equally bare chest, and he struggled to keep control of himself. He had already taken his fill of her… multiple times no less with an elleth who was not used to such activities. He could not subject her to more without a bit of a reprieve. "Meleth nín," he said, cupping her cheek and kissing her again deeply. There was a connection now between them that he had never felt before, their bond was so deep- like one of marriage should be- that he could feel her very presence in his mind, and he was sure she felt the same. Perhaps that was what had woken him to begin with.

As he looked at her now, and realized that he held this connection, Haldir understood why an Elf could fade after losing their love to death. Being so bound together would do that; having the prominent warm, comforting feeling of your significant other there in your mind and suddenly not having it at all would be devastating. But he had promised her he would not regret his decision, and he did not. He only knew now what a brave woman his mother was to send her husband to war and to the borders all of those times. And even the greater courage she would need to know that her son wished to do this as well.

The funny thing was, he had not come out of this experience with the revelations he thought he should. But then, he had always known he loved Laereth. He knew their bond would be great after such an act as this. What he did come out of it with was a deeper respect, no necessarily for his mother, but for all women and ellyth who lived in this world with the courage to see their husbands go to war, or to protect them at home on the borders. It took a special person to do that, and he did not know if even he could do that, being so connected with another. Even with the wardens he sent to the borders as his duty, he had trouble, and worried about them. How could he expect to do that with his wife?

He understood why his father never wanted to leave their talan when the patrols left. Why they would sit quietly around the table in the mornings… why his father would spend extra minutes with his mother cooing over Rúmil. Perhaps his mother deserved to travel to Aman, to live her life in a land of complete paradise where she need not worry or toil about anything.

He had a profound respect now for Laereth, since she was willing to bear this weight each time he left, with the knowledge that he may not come back. She bore it because she loved him so much, she did not want to live without him. And yet, at the very same moment, knew that he could be lost, and she would be in an even worse place than she was before. It truly must have been better to love, if only for a short while, instead of not at all.

"What are you thinking about?" she questioned softly.

"What a remarkable thing a female is," he replied.

Laereth chuckled, placing her lips to his chest where her head lay. "I am quite remarkable."

"And you call me arrogant," he laughed, circling his arm around her shoulder more tightly, and using the other one to wrap around her waist as he maneuvered himself quite sufficiently to pin her back against the bed.

"Oh, March Warden, you are arrogant all of the time," she said, moving her eyes from his to follow the path of her finger, as a it traced down his chin, and neck, chest, and lower yet.

But he stopped her hand, and placed both of her hands above her head again, like he had done the evening before. "As much as I would like to pursue this with you, hervess, we will have company soon enough."

"Will Rúmil and Orophin even remember what happened last eve?" she questioned, moving her hips slightly, and teasing his now permanent excitement.

"You are a minx, you know that," he said quietly, leaning down to kiss her deeply. Laereth smiled and nodded her head, accepting his lips against hers, and then his tongue dueling with hers. But it was quickly growing out of control, and he did not wish it to go that far and pushed back from her, "Are you not sore, elleth?"

Laereth shook her head, "Not terribly… we fit well together, so it is not too horrible and intrusion."

Haldir smiled, "I was worried that I hurt you."

"I told you it was not bad," she replied. "After so many years walking Arda, and all of the leisurely pursuits I have, like horseback riding, lessened the actual blockage. Perhaps it was a good thing to wait then, so that I could enjoy this fully with you from the very get go."

"But that does not change anything, we still have company coming over. If they do not remember, then I am eager to place you on my arm and show you off to all of the ellyn of Lórien. We will visit the Lord and Lady as well. They would like to know about this, if the Lady has not already seen it," Haldir said.

"And I will be the envy of every maiden in Caras Galadhon," she smiled wickedly.

Haldir smiled, "So as you can see, we have a busy day ahead of us."

She pouted slightly, "It does not take that long to find release."

"I promise I will make it worth your wait for this evening, Laereth," he said, moving away from her. He left the bed and found his crumpled leggings to the side of the bed. Pulling them on quickly, he leant back over her and kissed her. "Rest some more. I shall take care of the morning meal."

Laereth laughed as he exited the room, "You expect me to rest? How foolish you are."

Haldir chuckled and closed the door to the chamber. He did not hear any movement from the room for a long while as he collected the dishes from the previous evening and saw to washing them. Except, he noticed a package placed just inside the door of the talan. Wondering how it had gotten there without him not hearing anyone enter in the night, he walked over to it and picked it up. A piece of parchment fell our of the cloth wrapping, and he bent down to retrieve it.

_To my faithful March Warden-_

_We have spoken often about your life and what had happened in it to make you the way you are. And you have confided in me many times that you feel as though something in your life is missing, even though you had everything you wished for. The one thing you always forgot was love, and I tried to steer you toward that realization. That was until I realized you would actually need her here to change your mind, and that is why I persuaded your brothers to send for Laereth. Whether you may believe it or not, without love, there in nothing worth living for, or dying for, unless you love someone and that someone loves you.. _

_Give this package to Laereth and come visit Celeborn and me later with her. We have much to discuss, including a proper celebration for the March Warden and his new wife._

_I hope that you have finally found your completion._

_Fondly,_

_Galadriel _

Haldir sighed and shook his head. He knew that she would now on some level what was going on, but had not expected her to bring a package to them, in the middle of the night no less, but he felt especially honored that she would go to that much trouble. Walking back to the bed chambers, he found Laereth sitting in front of mirror at the dressing table, combing her hair dressed in her shift.

She turned to glance at him, "What is that?"

"It would appear that Galadriel knew of what we were going to do," he replied, handing her the package. "She left this for you."

Laereth blushed slightly, taking the package from him and opening it to find a gown inside. She smiled, "It will take some getting used to… having the Lady knowing things like this."

Haldir laughed, "She is not as bad as you might think. She only chooses which lives she wishes to meddle in."

"Very well," she said. "Now, I shall finished getting ready for this day."

* * *

Rhach- curses

Meleth nin- my love

Hervess- wife


	14. Epilogue

_A/N: Sadly, this looks to be the epilogue, and rather short. Had not intended to write anything beyond the last chapter, though I know you lovely people will be wanting more. I did, however, accomplish what I wanted in the story so do not think I am leaving it unfinished. There may be a little ficlet coming along showcasing a little scene that would more after setting this story up, than it would standing alone. I had a lot of fun writing this short little tale of friendship turning to love. I hope you enjoyed it!_

Epilogue

200 years later

Laereth stood up from her spot on the chaise lounge, to go place another wood log in the dying flames of the fire. Being carefully not to burn herself, she shifted them about, sending embers and flames jumping up. It really was not worth it to have a fire for herself, being unbelievably warm all the time now, but she knew that soon enough Celondir would return from his day with his cousin, and would complain of it being chilly. She figured that it must have been bitterly cold, as Elves just did not feel temperature differences as much as other races in Arda. Satisfied with the now roaring fire, she hobbled back over to the lounge and sat down upon it, repositioning herself as best she could with her large stomach.

Really, she wondered often why she had agreed to another child after Celondir as it was quite a drawback when your belly grew and you could not do anything but work slowly, taking breaks as often as you could. But she knew well that it was her want to have a daughter combined with Haldir's enthusiasm after the joy of having his own son that were to blame for her current state. And it was not so bad, she had to admit, to know that there was something like Celondir, the amazing wonderment that he was as a combination of both her and Haldir, growing within her. She only hoped this child would be female, so she would not have to live through another birth.

There was one good thing about her expanding waistline, though, and that was that it served as a quite lovely book holder if she was lying in such a position to balance it like that. Reaching for her book, she set it carefully on her stomach, beginning to read the first line of anew page when the creak of the door opening jarred her concentration. Expecting it to be Celondir, she glanced up quickly, only to find Haldir. For a moment she thought to get up and go to him, but decided against it as she had just gotten comfortable again.

"Do not get up on account of me returning," he said jokingly and smiled, placing his bow and quiver quickly down on the ground beside the door before working adeptly at undoing is scabbard belt. As soon as that was done and the weapons were out of the way, he made his way to her and leaned down over her, placing a tender kiss to her lips.

"You smell like an orc," she remarked as he moved back, and noted the various dirty smudges on his clothes and on his skin.

Haldir rolled his eyes, "Then I shall go bathe, to make my wife happy."

"Good," she said.

He laughed and glanced around, "Where is Celondir?"

"Failo took him out to practice his archery," she said, looking down at the book balanced on her stomach, and flippedthe page. "Though I should suspect they will speaking of something else."

"Something else?" Haldir questioned curiously.

She nodded and glanced at him, "Your son discovered ellyth a few days ago."

"Is he not just a little young for that?" Haldir questioned.

Laereth chuckled lowly, not looking at him, "I seem to remember his father chasing after ellyth long before his one hundredth begetting day."

"He does not have to be like me," Haldir sighed, beginning to unwrap the outer grey of his wardens' garments until he was left only wearing black leggings and tunic.

"I happen to believe you are the best ellon he could model himself after," she replied.

He laughed and walked back over to her, kissing her again, "I would hope you would think that."

Laereth laughed, but again wrinkled her nose at him, "Go bathe yourself. What were you doing that has made you smell like this?"

"There are more orcs coming from the mountains and from the north. We have killed many, and burned them," he replied. "That would be why."

"Is it bad?" she questioned worriedly.

"It is bad, but not yet horrible," he said and walked back into the master bed chamber. "We will speak of it later, as you say I desperately need a bath."

Laereth sighed heavily to herself, her mind no longer on the book in front of her, but on the news Haldir had given her. The thought of an increased threat of orcs was unsettling to her, and she did not even know the full extent of what was going on. It was tough enough to worry about Haldir out on the borders, but then she had to worry for Orophin and Rúmil, and now Failo who had just passed an examination to become a warden. And soon Celondir would be asking about warden training, as he so liked to do exactly what his father did. She could only hope that nothing terrible befell the wardens on the borders, because she would lose so much from her life if there was one.

Her thinking occupied her long enough for Haldir to take a bath, dry himself and redress. He came back out, rubbing some salve on his hands, "So Failo is giving him pointers on both archery and ellyth. I could think of many euphemisms for those two things… perhaps that was what Failo was planning."

She laughed, "I know not what he was planning, but I am sure you will be doing disentangling of Failo's words for Celondir."

"I do not think I will be much better," Haldir replied, sitting down on the open portion of the lounge, picking her feet up and placing them on top of his legs. He leaned over her and rested and ear against her gown-covered belly. This had developed into one of his favorite pastimes since her first pregnancy. He would lay with his ear pressed to her stomach just to listen to the faint heartbeats of the babe inside.

Laereth smiled, and ran her hand through his still damp hair, "She has been quite active today."

"Are we sure it is an elleth?" he questioned.

"No, but I believe if I hope long enough, it will come true," she laughed, feeling the violent kick in her stomach.

Haldir jerked away and stared down at her belly, "I think she is angry with me for thinking she is an ellon."

"Perhaps," Laereth said with a smile. "But we will find out soon enough what it is."

He nodded his head and smiled, "Aye, we will."


End file.
